Happy football, everybody!
Wait, you knew it started, right? Didn't you hear? I thought everyone was tuned in to the Patriots' radio broadcast on Thursday night.
Well, if not ... too bad! This weekly piece is all about spoilers. Sure, reading it will take away any suspense on NFL Sundays, but at least you'll be able to impress your friends.
Before we get to the Week 1 scores, an annual reminder: I do NOT hate your favorite team ... even if I pick against them. You see, each game has only two participants. As a result, the odds almost require I sometimes go against your rooting interest. (If it makes you feel any better, I pick against my team on occasion. It gives me no pleasure to do so, but -- as a grownup -- I'm able to distinguish between what I want to see happen and what I think will happen.)
Anyhow -- let's start things off by flipping to the end of the 2015 novel with a look at the playoff picture:
AFC PLAYOFF SEEDINGS
1)Kansas City Chiefs: 12-4
2)Miami Dolphins: 11-5
3)Houston Texans: 10-6
4)Pittsburgh Steelers: 10-6
5)New England Patriots: 11-5
6)Indianapolis Colts: 10-6
Just missed: Baltimore Ravens, Cincinnati Bengals, Denver Broncos.
NFC PLAYOFF SEEDINGS
1)Seattle Seahawks: 13-3
2)Philadelphia Eagles: 11-5
3)Detroit Lions: 11-5
4)Atlanta Falcons: 10-6
5)Green Bay Packers: 11-5
6)Dallas Cowboys: 11-5
Just missed: Carolina Panthers, Minnesota Vikings, Arizona Cardinals.
WILD CARD ROUND
AFC
COLTS over TEXANS
STEELERS over PATRIOTS
NFC
LIONS over COWBOYS
PACKERS over FALCONS
DIVISIONAL ROUND
AFC
CHIEFS over COLTS
STEELERS over DOLPHINS
NFC
SEAHAWKS over PACKERS
LIONS over EAGLES
CHAMPIONSHIP SUNDAY
AFC
CHIEFS over STEELERS
NFC
SEAHAWKS over LIONS
SUPER BOWL 50
SEAHAWKS over CHIEFS
Of course, there'd be no yin without some yang ...
2016 NFL DRAFT: TOP FIVE PICKS
1)Chicago Bears: 3-13
2)Washington Redskins: 4-12
3)Jacksonville Jaguars: 6-10
4)Tennessee Titans: 6-10
5)New York Giants: 6-10
... but all of the above is months and months away. Let's get to the here and now, a.k.a. NFL Week 1!
WARNING: Do NOT continue reading if you don't want to know the final scores of the Week 1 games.
PACKERS 34
BEARS 13
R. Rodgers: 3 rec, 60 yds, 2 TDs
J. Cutler: 3 INTs
CHIEFS 20
TEXANS 19
J. Maclin: 15-yd TD rec
D. Hopkins: 4 rec, 80 yds, TD
COLTS 23
BILLS 28
F. Gore: 15 carries, 30 yds
BUF D: 8 sacks
DOLPHINS 26
'SKINS 22
R. Tannehill: 22-28, 325 yds, 3 TDs
D. Jackson: 70-yd TD rec
BROWNS 6
JETS 7
I. Crowell: 20 carries, 60 yds
R. Fitzpatrick: 3 INTs
PANTHERS 17
JAGS 16
J. Stewart: 40-yd TD run
T.J. Yeldon: 13 carries, 45 yds
SEAHAWKS 23
RAMS 20
M. Lynch: 17 carries, 90 yds, TD
T. Austin: 110 yds/scrimmage, TD
LIONS 35
CHARGERS 24
C. Johnson: 7 rec, 130 yds, TD
K. Allen: 6 rec, 120 yds, TD
SAINTS 15
CARDINALS 20
M. Ingram: 21 carries, 105 yds
C. Palmer: 18-25, 250 yds, TD, INT
TITANS 14
BUCCANEERS 24
M. Mariota: 15-25, 220 yds, TD, 2 INTs
J. Winston: 16-30, 250 yds, 3 TDs, 2 INTs
BENGALS 33
RAIDERS 27
D. Kirkpatrick: 35-yd INT TD
A Cooper: 9 rec, 100 yds
RAVENS 9
BRONCOS 10
J. Tucker: 3 FGs
P. Manning: 24-36, 280 yds, TD, INT
GIANTS 19
COWBOYS 29
O. Beckham: 7 rec, 120 yds, TD
D. McFadden: 15 carries, 80 yds
EAGLES 31
FALCONS 34
J. Matthews: 2 TDs
J. Jones: 2 TDs
VIKINGS 21
NINERS 27
A. Peterson: 25 carries, 100 yds, 2 TDs
C. Kaepernick: 2 TDs, 2 INTs; TD run
Follow Dave Dameshek on Twitter @Dameshek.
