Before we get to the Week 11 games, lemme address the dawn of the Color Rush real quick.
They say there's no accounting for taste, but they are wrong. As our society's Accountant of Taste (and self-appointed Uniform Monitor), I take uniform failures (like the ones we've seen the last two Thursday nights) very seriously. And instead of pointing fingers, I must accept the blame. As I once told my high school friend Peter, with great power comes great responsibility.
Many people are calling this Thursday's game in Jacksonville the worst uniform matchup of all time.
Now, listen: It was undoubtedly dreadful ... but the worst ever? Nah. Not even the worst of this century.
To wit, here are five matchups I rate below what we suffered through this week:
Kansas City Chiefs at Arizona Cardinals -- Week 14, 2014
Mess with the tint on your tube all you want. The only real solution is a black & white TV.
Seattle Seahawks v New England Patriots -- Super Bowl XLIX
In what was one of the great Super Bowls ever, credit both teams for generating just enough excitement to overcome the dreary drab of all that navy blue.
Minnesota Vikings at Baltimore Ravens -- Week 14, 2013
Sorry, Big Purple: Even if you love Barney, Prince and the Grimace, there still can be too much of a good thing.
Chicago Bears at Seattle Seahawks -- Week 3, 2009
Sorry to bring the Bears' handsome getups into this mess. They're mere collateral damage. (I think the expressions on the faces of T.J. Houshmandzadeh & Nate Burleson here reflect the world's feelings.)
Cincinnati Bengals at Tampa Bay Buccaneers -- Week 13, 2014
As awful as the other orange-clad Ohio team looks this season -- it says "Browns" on their pants! -- let's not sleep on these hideous Bengals getups, which paid a visit to the digital-alarm-clock-numbered Buccaneers in an eyesore for the ages.
All those citations said, Thursday night was a visual apocalypse. Not as outrageous as, say, a Nashville mom and her young daughter being forced to witness a football player showing joy on a football field ... but discomfiting nonetheless.
I promise to do better going forward. I simply have no choice.
For now, though, let's get to the Week 11 games.
WARNING: Do NOT continue reading if you don't want to know the final scores of the Week 11 games.
(1-0 this week, 8-6 last week, 89-58 on the season)
COLTS 30
FALCONS 38
F. Gore: 120 yds, TD
M. Ryan: 350 yds, 4 TDs
BROCKOS 28
BEARS 27
B. Osweiler: 2 TDs, 2 INTs
J. Cutler: 2 TDs, 2 INTs
RAMS 20
RAVENS 17
T. Gurley: 130 yds, 2 TDs
BAL TEs: 2 TDs
'SKINS 16
PANTHERS 21
K. Cousins: 3 INTs
J. Stewart: 90 yds, TD
RAIDERS 27
LIONS 34
A Cooper: 125 rec yds, TD
A. Abdullah: 150 yds/scrimmage, 2 TDs
JETS 19
TEXANS 16
NYJ D: 7 sacks
HOU D: 6 sacks
COWBOYS 31
DOLPHINS 23
D. Bryant: 140 yds, 2 TDs
J. Landry: 120 yds, 1 TD
BUCS 17
EAGLES 27
J. Winston: 2 TDs, 3 INTs
M. Sanchez: 0 bum fumbles
CHIEFS 20
CHARGERS 19
J. Maclin: 105 yds, 1 TD
D. Woodhead: 100 yds/scrimmage, 1 TD
PACKERS 27
VIKES 23
R. Rodgers: 50-yd TD
K. Rudolph: 20-yd TD
NINERS 9
SEAHAWKS 24
B. Gabbert: 4 turnovers
J. Graham: 95 yds, 2 TDs
BENGALS 14
CARDS 24
A. Dalton: 1 TD, 3 INT
Jo. Brown: 70-yd TD pass
BILLS 21
PATS 23
R. Woods: 55-yd TD rec
R. Gronkowski: 120 yds, TD
Enjoy Week 11! I hope your team wins (unless they're playing my team).
Follow Dave Dameshek on Twitter @Dameshek.
