Welcome to the Around The League End Around, a weekly look back at the world of the NFL. Dan Hanzus serves as your guide.
It was a good week for ...
1. San Antonio: Could the home of the Alamo and the Spurs be getting an NFL team? Probably not, but Toronto, Los Angeles and London welcome you to the conversation!
2. Marshawn Lynch: The Seahawks running back managed to extend his summer vacation andget a raise in the process. Beast Mode in Business Mode.
3. Ray Rice: The Ravens running back delivered the public apology that should've happened the first time around. This one felt sincere.
It was a bad week for ...
1. David Wilson: The Giants running back reportedly "needs a miracle" to return from his neck injury. Sad.
2. Sanders Commings: Might literally have had his ankle broken by a Jamaal Charles cut.
3. Johnny Manziel: When did it become OK to cover this guy like Brangelina?
America's Uncle gets down
When I got married, I specifically told -- nay, warned -- the DJ not to play the "Chicken Dance" song. I remember holding eye contact with the man for a few extra seconds, a gesture of intimidation I'm sure had a resounding effect. I mean, look at this dude. Does he look plugged in? You think he feels alive? That's a hard negative, friends.
What does this have to do with Peyton Manning dancing at Broncos practice this week? I'm not sure. But I'm almost positive Manning loves the "Chicken Dance" and the infernal rhythmic movements that accompany it. It is the divide that will separate us forever.
Brandin Cooks: Potentially productive at this level?
Yes.
What the What?
Texans running back Arian Fosterrubbed some reporters the wrong way on Wednesday when he offered the same answer 11 times during a 90-second Q&A session.
"Yeah, man. I'm just out here trying to be the best teammate I can be. And I'm gonna work hard at doing that."
I've read some #hottakes in which Foster is portrayed as an iconoclastwho refuses to feed the media machine. By antagonizing reporters with a cliched, repetitive answer, Foster is taking a stand. Against what ... I have no idea.
Listen, on balance, I've enjoyed the Arian Foster era. He can really play. He comes at sports celebrity from a different angle. He has a lovablyponderousTwitterfeed. He co-starred in a tepid Kevin Costner vehicle that will be fun to mock once it reaches cable.
But this week was a bridge too far. Just remember Foster's attitude here if he pops up as an analyst in a few years.
Oh, here's a deeply earnest Chris Snee tribute
This is by far the most epic Chris Snee tribute going on the Internet right now.
Your mom busted in and said, "What's that noise?"
It might seem inconsequential, but Mike Pettine's decision to play the Beastie Boys classic -- this totally seems like a Pettine move -- has to make you feel better as a Browns fan. Manziel's off-the-field antics have garnered crazy amounts of attention. This small moment shows a sense of humor remains in Berea.
Ten crucial Beastie Boys jams for the kids
The Lonesome Kicker
Being a kicker is hard enough. Being a rookie kicker? That's like showing up to high school wearing a pocket protector and a mouth brace. Just call yourself No Chance.
Tweets of the week
The Richard Sherman and Patrick Peterson rivalry is kind of silly (they'll never face each other), but we're in anyway. Peterson just signed a new deal that makes him the highest-paid cornerback in the league. The Cardinals star celebrated by borrowing the phrase that put Sherman on the map.
Minutes later ...
Sherman and Peterson are reason enough to bring back those old Pro Bowl skills competitions that NFL Network runs on loop during the offseason.
Quote of the Week, Part I
"I'm always ready to get weird."
-- Rob Ryan, referring to his new defensive scheme with the Saints, though I imagine it extends into other reaches of Bad Santa's existence.
Quote of the Week, Part II
"F--- Seattle."
-- Broncos defensive tackle Kevin Vickerson, who may not be over the events of Feb. 2.
"Man, f--- Bon Jovi!"
-- Hall of Fame wide receiver Andre Reed, who is not down with the idea of Jon Bon Jovi buying the Bills and moving them out of Buffalo.
Added Reed: "You might as well just take this city, throw it in the river, and let it go down Niagara Falls." That, my friends, is some powerful imagery.
In Shad We Trust
Some fans would be alarmed if their owner were dressed like an extra in Cocktail. They shouldn't be. Khan is a glorious outlier.
Read Option(al)
"Why Marty Schottenheimer belongs in the Hall of Fame" -- Marc Sessler, NFL.com
The Sizzler bangs the table for Marty, who had 200 career victories, a .613 winning percentage ... but no rings.
Until next time ...
The latest Around The League Podcast talks about the good and bad out of Cowboys camp, then plays the "What's More Likely?" game.