Welcome to the Around The NFL End Around, a weekly look back at the world of the National Football League. Dan Hanzus serves as your guide.
It was a good week for ...
1. Daaaaa Raiiiiidahs: The Silver & Black ended a 52-week winless streak in style, taking down a first-place team in prime time. It's days like this that I think of Scar.
2. Josh Gordon: The NFL's leading receiver in 2013 is off his suspension and plans to "tear this league up." Just as long as you celebrate with soda pop afterward, pal.
3. LeGarrette Blount: Blount got himself cut from the Steelers thanks to some high-grade petulance, but he ended up reuniting with the hottest team in the AFC. I wouldn't quite call this a lesson learned.
It was a bad week for ...
1. Dwayne Gratz: The reserve Jaguars cornerback was arrested early Sunday morning and cited for disorderly intoxication and trespassing after he tried to make a purchase at a convenience store with chewing gum. This is what you kids get for drinking Fireball.
2. Jonas Gray: The Patriots running back was having a great week until his iPhone died, his alarm didn't go off and he slept through practice on Friday. Yes, your fantasy sleeper was done in by sleep.
3. Robert Griffin III: The whole thing is crumbling to dust in D.C. Which team talks itself into thinking they can fix him next year? (PUT YOUR HAND DOWN, JETS.)
Hang in there, Buffalo
Jeez, when did Western New York become a real-life version of The Day After Tomorrow? On a related note, how many Bills fans will make it to Detroit for Monday's rescheduled "home game" against the Jets? I say whoever digs out and attends should go straight into the team's Ring Of Honor.
What The What?
Cam Newton's Twitter account was hacked on Tuesday. It led to some pretty decent fraudulent burns, including "@Rsherman_25 overrated", "i wanna get released" and "i wanna get signed to a good team (sad face)". Newton's team eventually managed to secure the perimeter (random 24 dialogue there, apologies), but the real head-scratcher was Newton's eventual admission:
Can't wait until this is a "C'mon Man!" segment and Mike Ditka has to pretend he knows what Twitter is.
Tweet of the week
Broncos wide receiver Emmanuel Sanders took one of the nastiest licks of the season on Sunday, a shot that ended his day with a concussion. Because the internet is a wicked place, someone changed Sanders' Wikipedia page to read that he had perished on the field in St. Louis.
Showing a sense of humor, Sanders spent the rest of the week proving how very alive he remains.
I'm a big fan of the Random Mom in the Peyton Manning jersey. What is she doing at this club? OK, it's probably not a club, but let's pretend.
Troy & Buck drop the scruff hammer
It really does look like they were battling T-800s all weekend! Either that or they came straight to the stadium from their George Michael tribute band gig. I'm absolutely positive Joe Buck knows every word to "Freedom '90." Troy handles vox on "Father Figure."
Ben Tate does not believe that Cleveland rocks
Just wait 'til Drew Carey sees this. (Man, Cleveland needs to update its Hollywood celebrity representative.)
Quote of the Week
"Family members get to see you play. Ex-girlfriends, they wish they wouldn't have dumped you."
Ravens wide receiver Steve Smith, on the enduring appeal of playing on Monday Night Football.
Hero of the Week: Marshawn Lynch
The Seahawks running back (well, he's a Seahawks running back for another few months anyway) returned the wallet of a Seattle-area man who dropped it at a gas station. Opening your front door to the sight of Beast Mode holding your billfold is an all-time WTF moment.
(Not-so) Villain of the Week: "Jerk" Saints Fan
"I really wasn't intending to hurt anyone, do anyone harm," said Williams, a loyal Saints season-ticket holder since 1970. "My motive was to keep the football for my grandbaby."
As for the criticism that Williams made contact with the female Bengals fan while swiping the souvenir ...
"Believe me, with me, chivalry is not dead. I love my wife. I love my daughter. That hurts me a lot."
Here at the End Around, we're giving Tony Williams an Official Fan Pardon.
Packers go Pitch Perfect
At the 1:07 mark of the above video, you'll see Clay Matthews get the sleeves of his jacket torn off by some Packers teammates. It's a scene from Pitch Perfect 2, which we can only hope features plenty of acapella from All-Pro outside linebackers.
While we're here, Pitch Perfect is an example of a movie I got roped into by my wife and ended up secretly liking. She won't even find this out until she reads this column. So there it is, darling. I kind of liked The Notebook, too, especially when the two old farts croaked together in bed. I'm a sucker for dunderheaded symbolism.
ANYWAY, I asked Twitter followers for their choice for the Chick Flick You're Secretly In On (CFYSIO). Here are some of your answers, with my comments in parentheses.
(Stay on topic.)
(Oh man, that "Lady Marmalade" cover ruined 2002. Grotesque.)
(Keepin' it real. Respect.)
(The Jennifer Lawrence Effect at play.)
(Hashtag felt like an unnecessary shot.)
(Really?)
(Noticing a trend here?)
(Great use of "Zoo Station" in that one.)
Not a soul. Until next time ...
The latest Around The NFL Podcast recaps the Raiders' shocking win over the Chiefs and previews every other Week 12 game. Find more Around The NFL content on NFL NOW.