What we are talking about:
"Star Wars"
Did you expect anything less?
"Star Wars"
Duh, what else?
"Star Wars"
Are you sensing a theme yet?
I was at a grocery store the other day in a "Star Wars" T-shirt and had this exchange with the cashier.
Cashier: "Are you excited about the upcoming "Star Wars" movie?"
Me: "My daughter's name is Ahsoka."
Cashier: "I have no further questions."
I was actually impressed the cashier even knew who Ahsoka was. (Trust me, I did the follow-up to see if she was just humoring, but she was legit.) Not a lot of people follow the extended "Star Wars" universe. Not necessarily the books, but the series "The Clone Wars" and "Star Wars Rebels" which are cannon, so why wouldn't you? Not to be a snob, as I consider myself a moderate fan, but you need to at least follow those series, right?
To not watch "The Clone Wars" or "Rebels" to me would be akin to being a person who says they are the biggest Cowboys fan in the world, but never watches a regular season game and only shows up for the playoffs. Although, if that was the case, that fan would be the Cowboys-version of a fan who's only seen "Episode I" on an endless loop over the past 20 years.
I bring this up because I know this weekend will compel a lot of NFL writers to make NFL-"Star Wars" comparisons. I should know, I used to do it for NFL.com but have quietly backed out of that responsibility. I mean, how many times could you say Bill Belichick is Darth Sidious, Tom Brady is Anakin and Eddie Lacy is Jabba (that's mean).
But for reals, Ben Roethilsberger is Jek Porkins. That's spot-on! (Google it, kids.)
This also got me thinking of another "Star Wars" character. Boba Fett. He's probably one of the most beloved characters in the whole universe. But have you ever asked yourself why? I mean, he's the son of a famous bounty hunter. But in Boba's one "big score" in the trilogy, it's Darth Vader who sets the trap. Boba is just kind of hanging around and he finds a way to get the win and the MVP accolades.
So basically, Peyton Manning is Boba Fett, right? Both excel in the regular season, but in the big moment, not so much. (And I guess then by default Darth Vader is Dom Rhodes?)
And further, I'm sure Boba Fett got out of the Pit of the Sarlaac. Not sure Peyton Manning is going to be able to do the same this year.
All right, thank you for the indulgence. I was able to hit all of my big talking points, which are "Star Wars" and Peyton Manning truthing. (Really, those are like my two "out" pitches.) Big ups to the Franchise, Careen Falcone and Evan Lazer. All of those names seem made up, but I assure you, they are real people. Let's get to the fantasy football.
And without further ado ...
I remember in August when I felt like I had settled for Carson Palmer. He's the only quarterback I would consider starting over Russell Wilson this week.
That said, I would start Ryan Fitzpatrick over everybody in DFS, based on the value alone. I'll put my resources to other positions this week.
Tyrod Taylor would be another solid DFS starter this week. The matchup is just fine, so that's why I will go with Fitzpatrick instead.
It's almost like we are all waiting for Cam Newton to give us a bad fantasy week. But there is no way it's going to happen against the Giants. No way.
Drew Brees concerned me headed into the fantasy playoffs. But a decent enough game against the Bucs means he's more than ready for the Lions this week.
Matthew Stafford has been pretty great recently. Nine touchdowns with only one pick in his last three. The Saints have allowed the most points to quarterbacks.
Blake Bortles has eight touchdown passes the past two weeks. I just hope he's not afraid to toss a few to Allen Robinson. That kind of ruined my season last week.
Derek Carr and Aaron Rodgers have thrown the same number of touchdowns this season (28) and separated by only a point in passer rating.
Image I completely bought into Roman Reigns winning. It seems like every time RAW gets in a rut, Vince K. McMahon says "I'll show up" and magic will happen. And it did. This time, he got the Philadelphia crowd to cheer Reigns. The same Philly crowd that booed the Rock. (Which should replace the Philly fans booed Santa Claus in fan lore.) Check out Reigns as he addressed the crowd after RAW.
Image NXT Takeover in England was pretty amazing, too. I hope Finn Balor never goes to the main roster. No need for it. I know none of those superstars would ever refuse to go up, but it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to stay where they actually have a clue as to what they are doing.
I like Jeremy Hill to lead the Bengals offense in the AJ McCarron era. The 49ers have also allowed the most fantasy points to RBs over the last month.
David Johnson has scored double-digits in back-to-back games. The Eagles have allowed the second-most points to running backs in the last month. Giovani Bernard would be the preferred back in DFS, because the majority of those leagues default to PPR.
If you grabbed Brandon Bolden on your fantasy team, the Titans have allowed the fifth-most points to running backs. So you have that going for you.
Denard Robinson is going to be the default guy in Jacksonville. And he's got a great matchup this week against the Falcons.
I would not hesitate to start Bryce Brown if you were able to add him off the wire this week. Pete Carroll has no problem going with the replacement guys.
Chris Ivory and Bilal Powell are both safe to play this week against the Cowboys who have allowed the sixth-most fantasy points to RBs. Ivory in traditional, Powell in PPR.
Image I really don't like that John Oliver has been off this long from our televisions. It doesn't seem right. At least he was kind enough to leave this guide for re-gifting. I've been busted re-gifting before. I have a friend that always gives me one of those packaged bottles of booze. Which is great. I love those, and I have to admit that 90 percent of my glassware says Jack Daniels, Bushmills or Fire Ball. It just does. But one of my friends gave me a bottle of Southern Comfort one time and I'm rather confident we've exchanged the gift around four times over to each other.
Odell Beckham Jr. is the tenth player since 1960 to have six consecutive 100-yard receiving games. Two more and he ties Megatron for the NFL record.
And I don't give a (expletive) who is going to be covering OBJ this week. You know Eli is going to take his shots, unlike Matty Ice to Julio.
Sammy Watkins has scored 14 fantasy points in three consecutive games, with a receiving touchdown in each. This is a great matchup for him this week.
Somebody call NORAD because DeAndre Hopkins is about to go nuclear on Indy. It's DEFCON 1. Or DEFCON 5. Whatever the most serious one is.
The Eagles are a great matchup. And since Michael Floyd eliminated me in my League of Record last week, I can only endorse John Brown.
Doug Baldwin and Tyler Lockett are another receiving duo you can have faith in this week. The Browns ... Actually, I'll just stop at "the Browns".
I was on the wrong end of the decision for Allen Robinson and Allen Hurns. I'd be fine with either. Robinson would be my preferred lean, but both are good.
Image This week's music video will not be from a band, per say. This is one of my favorite bits "The Simpsons" have ever done. It's a song parody of "We didn't Start the Fire" from Billy Joel. So please, enjoy "You'll Never Stop the Simpsons" with a side of "Everyone Hates Ned Flanders" for your viewing/listening pleasure. Oh man, I really miss that show. I wish "The Simpsons" was still on. Hey, did you know the guy who does the score for "The Simpsons" Danny Elfman was once in a popular '80s band called Oingo Boingo? Here's "Only a Lad" for your viewing/listening pleasure.
Julius Thomas has scored double-digit fantasy points in two of his last three games. He's had a receiving touchdown in four consecutive games. I think he's doing all right outside of Denver.
By the time you read this, if everything has gone correctly, I will have already seen "Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens" by now. I really liked it. Well, I'm guessing. The reviews have come in and from what I've heard, everything is positive. So my hope is renewed.
Image"STAR WARS" SPOILER. SPOILER. Here is what I believe is going to happen. Kylo Ren is Ezra. No, I can't believe they would do that. And I don't expect we see Ahsoka Tano, either. But Kylo Ren is a Solo. Maybe Luke's son. He goes back to Endor to find the remains. Rey is his sister. She's needed to bring balance to the force. They can't do it all on their own, so they summon ol' Uncle Luke and he helps, blah, blah, blah. That's the rough outline of what I believe will happen. But we'll see. I've got to be honest, I'm looking forward to it. But yo, did you all see that "Independence Day: Resurgence" trailer? Holy (expletive). I can't wait for that. BTW, Fitchner is in this film, which means it will rock.
Eli Manning was great against the Dolphins. I'd leave him at the very top of the QB2 conversation, but would start better options (Bortles, et al) if possible.
That's the thing, good quarterbacks have thrown on the Panthers, like A-Rod and Brees. And Eli is more like those guys than he is T.J. Yates, no?
I'd avoid Ben Roethlisberger if I could, too. Again, I'd start him over AJ McCarron, but I would like to start somebody like Bortles or Fitzpatrick instead.
I know, I like OBJ this week. But let's suppose Eli throws for 213 a touch and two picks. As long as that TD goes to Odell, we're in all-good mode.
Marcus Mariota has been very impressive during his rookie season. But I can't see him putting up a huge number at New England. No way.
Is it my imagination or does Sam Bradford look like he's wearing shoulder pads that are like six-sizes too big? Like he's a little kid dressing up as a QB for Halloween.
Jay Cutler has done enough this year to keep the Bears competitive. He's not the one missing those field goals. But I can't start him this week against the Vikings.
I feel a little bad for having a go at Matt Ryan recently. It's his line. It's not good. Nobody would be successful as the quarterback in Atlanta.
Remember when Ryan Tannehill was a thing? Oh man, even with a pretty decent matchup against the Chargers, I wouldn't touch him.
Is it wrong that I want to watch Johnny Manziel at Seattle in much the same way I would want to watch a new version of one of those "Saw" movies. Or "I Know What You Did Last Summer". Or how about, "I Know What You Did Last Bye Week"?
Image I want to really like "The Rose Bush" on RAW. I know how hard it is to really find your voice when you start to do some video segments like this. But at least give me a few signs of life. I feel like Adam Rose has been misused greatly. I don't understand how these guys can be so over on NXT, but can't connect on RAW. At some point the old man needs to let go and let HHH run this in same manner.
Image There was a time when guys who jumped from NWA/WCW to the WWE (and visa versa) was the best part of wrestling. It was always so exciting to see a guy like Mr. Perfect show up. But we need to get back to that. I don't really have the answers on how that would happen, but still.
DeMarco Murray would be dropped in most years where Fozzy Whitaker wasn't a thing on the waiver wire. But Murray still has value in this crazy year. Barely.
I do credit Murray for staying strong, though. If another network gave me a ton of money but couldn't find a way to use me; I wouldn't sit next to the owner and complain about it. I would instead be sending passive aggressive tweets from my second home in Las Vegas or Hawaii.
The Jets have allowed very few fantasy points to running backs this year, so I'll sit Darren McFadden. Especially if Bobby Turbin is going to vulture touchdowns.
Buck Allen once again needs to sit on your bench. Last week it was Seattle. This week it's the Chiefs who could figure prominently in the AFC championship race.
Ah wait, Andy Reid still coaches the Chiefs. They might win a playoff game but there is nothing to see here folks; move along.
The Steelers play so well against the run. I expect Brock Osweiler to have a little freedom to throw. But you can't trust Ronnie Hillman this week.
Dude, if you played Isaiah Crowell last week, congratulations to you. Don't do that again.
Image I really liked the color rush uniforms of the St. Louis FC and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. A lot of people noted it looked like mustard and ketchup. The league really blew a golden opportunity here to have the referees dressed in all green to represent relish. I mean, where is that relish lobby here?
Image Some people said those uniforms looked like a hot dog. Incorrect. You never (and I mean ever) put ketchup on a hot dog. You never do it.
Image I don't like when people say, "have guarded expectations for player X" this week. But start him! I mean, if I don't think you should start a dude, I'll be straight with you.
Dez Bryant shouldn't be started again for the rest of the season. He has that look of somebody who doesn't want to be out there.
Which of course means he ends up with like 20 points this week from everybody's bench. Just kidding. That isn't happening.
I would start Odell this week (obviously). I'm going to avoid him in DFS, but you couldn't get me to sit him in a traditional fantasy league. Same goes for the Steelers WRs.
Randall Cobb isn't a No. 1 receiver. I have to believe there are guys you picked up off the waiver wire who have been much better than him recently.
Jordan Matthews was such a waste of a pick. I'm going to avoid all of the Eagles pass catchers this week. Maybe forever.
I know I want to be mad at the Giants kicker for missing that field goal and ending my run in my League of Record (the league you care about the most). But if A-Rob could have had just one more catch, I would have survived and advanced. Relive my pain in the "Monday Nightmare" this week.
Image How do you think the Bucs and St. Louis FC felt about being the sacrificial lambs to be the Thursday Night Football game to go up against "Star Wars: Episode VII" this week? They probably should have moved that game to Friday. Not like anybody in St. Louis would have noticed.
Image While I'm super excited for the new "Star Wars" flick, I just know I'm going to be disappointed. As I said previously, I'm stoked everybody has positive reviews on it. (Though, I always liked "Episode III". And after watching this special on the light saber duels on ESPN, I've found myself liking "Episode I" a little bit more, too.) All that being said. I have a very specific vision in my head of how I think this movie should go. And when it doesn't go the way I feel like it should, I just know I'm going to be a little disappointed.
Image Although, I'll see it again on Sunday after the 10 a.m. games, so hopefully I will have more of an open mind about it. Overall, I'm still very excited about this. Very, very excited. But if Jar Jar is Kylo Ren, we riot.
For the record, you can submit your fantasy questions to NFL Fantasy Live or me on Twitter. But realize, NFL Fantasy Live has 300K followers. Me? Just 14. See, the odds are better I will answer your question, so hit me up both via Twitter or via Facebook (if you're RG3). And if you follow me on Sundays, I'll quote "The Wolf" from "Pulp Fiction" and then it's game on! Although, it's tough to catch me on Facebook. Twitter is your go-to." Plus seriously people, I'm not taking your tweets after Midnight. I'm into the #HashtagWars via @Midnight. I've started to mute people who ask me questions at that time.