Consider Week 3 of the preseason like the night before Halloween. If your house isn't permanently damaged when you wake up in the morning, the night was a success.
This is the weekend that should spook the average fan more than any other. There will be no three-hour span this month that will present more danger to your team's most valuable assets, many of which will play at least two quarters.
While coaches and front-office officials use the final two games of the exhibition schedule to evaluate talent and determine a final roster, your job is to cross your fingers and toes and hope your best player doesn't end up like Tony Romo.
You wonder how much longer things will carry on this way. The increasing reluctance of NFL coaches to take their star players out of bubble wrap seems to point to a shortened preseason. And to think, as recently as 1977 teams were playing six preseason games before real football began. That is some deranged caveman stuff.
So yeah, good luck. We wish splendid health to all your favorites. And if you totally disagree and believe the preseason can serve as a guide to what lies ahead, I invite you to count how many preseason statistical leaders currently have a headshot on NFL.com.
Marcus Rush sounds made up.