Sometime this offseason, Marshawn Lynch will (probably) shoot a commercial where he takes a halfback pitch and rides a wave of Skittles to the moon. The Seahawks running back undoubtedly will say "Taste the rainbow!" at some point, flashing his signature "Beast Mode" grill to the horror of dentists across America.
Lynch will receive a handsome check for this feat of corporate synergy and CGI magic. He might even use the earnings to buy a new house for his mother, who originally associated him with the popular candy during his childhood.
Of course, that's all in the (hypothetical) future. For the time being, Skittles actually are costing the Seahawks running back.
Lynch was fined $10,000 by the NFL this week for violating the league's uniform policy. His crime? The league confirmed to NFL.com and NFL Network on Friday that Lynch was docked for wearing cleats that featured a Skittles-graphic along the side during last week's game against the San Francisco 49ers.
Nike created the custom footwear for Lynch, whose longtime practice of eating Skittles during games has gained national recognition during his extended run of excellent play.
As for Skittles, they're completely cool passing the time between the free advertising heaven that is Seahawks games by firing creepy tweets into the ether. Though they're absolutely right about spaghetti.