We'll get the Week 4 game picks in the second, but a quick hat tip of re2pect to Derek Jeter for one more magical moment on Thursday night. By the end of the weekend, the Yankee Captain's baseball career will be over. Probably.
I'm about as sure as sure can be this particular pro athlete's retirement will stick ... but you can never be 100 percent. Long before Brett Favre's semi-annual springtime sob-a-paloozas, salt-and-pepper-haired players have been hangin' up the cleats, then (a couple months/years later) takin' 'em back down for another shot at glory.
Questionable as a decision like that might seem to us fans, the athlete who returns can feel validated by his athletically gifted predecessors who just couldn't stay away: Michael Jordan, Mario Lemieux, Every Boxer Ever. And now, to the infinite list of returning retirees (or is "retired returnees" the correct oxymoron?) we can add the name James Harrison, forcibly pulled back onto the field by his old team after injuries to a couple of the callow linebackers that made him expendable in the first place. (Sweet irony!)
Now, I don't expect Harrison to resemble the player who won the 2008 Defensive Player of the Year (there's a reason no one signed him this offseason), but his return to the Steelers has me thinking: What if every other NFL team brought back one of its old stars to fill a glaring hole in the 2014 lineup?
I'm glad I asked -- 'cause here's what I've come up with. (And just for fun, let's assume each guy returns in top form):
PATS: G John Hannah (Logan who?)
DOLPHINS: RB Larry Csonka
BILLS: QB Jim Kelly (K-Gun 2.0!)
JETS: CB Darrelle Revis
RAVENS: T Jonathan Ogden
BROWNS: TE Ozzie Newsome
BENGALS: DB Ken Riley (Sorry, I'm not sure Boomer Esiason would be much of an upgrade to the Red Rifle)
TITANS: RB Earl Campbell (The Tyler Rose will love the Nashville BBQ)
COLTS: OLB Dwight Freeney (Pass rush concerns be gone)
TEXANS: TE Owen Daniels
JAGS: T Tony Boselli
CHARGERS: DE Fred Dean
BRONCOS: LB Randy Gradishar
CHIEFS: G Will Shields
RAIDERS: RB Marcus Allen & DE Howie Long (Let's give 'em two -- they need all the help they can get)
COWBOYS: DT Randy White
GIANTS: OLB Lawrence Taylor
REDSKINS: DB Darrell Green (Almost went with 2012 RGIII)
EAGLES: QB Randall Cunningham (No offense to Foles ... and I know the D needs upgraded ... but can't pass up seeing Randall in Chip's offense!)
PACKERS: NT Gilbert Brown
BEARS: LB Dick Butkus (or Mike Singletary ... or Brian Urlacher)
VIKES: RB Chuck Foreman
LIONS: DB Lem Barney
BUCS: DT Warren Sapp (I'm not a shill)
FALCONS: CB Deion Sanders (Well, maybe I'm a shill)
PANTHERS: WR Steve Smith Sr. (alright, T Jordan Gross probably makes more sense ... but I couldn't help myself)
SAINTS: DE Rickey Jackson
SEAHAWKS: WR Steve Largent
NINERS: CB Jimmy Johnson
CARDS: QB Neil Lomax
RAMS: QB Kurt Warner (and let's give 'em Isaac Bruce and Torry Holt, too ... and yes, I'm definitely a shill)
Fun! C'mon, Science, let's make this happen.
Meantime, let's get to the games ...
Warning: Do NOT continue reading if you don't want to know the final scores of the Week 4 games.
(0-1 this week; 10-6 last week; 27-22 on the season)
PACKERS 30
BEARS 28
E. Lacy: 18-120 yds, TD
A. Jeffery: 5 rec, 90 yds, TD
(In London)
DOLPHINS 28
RAIDERS 20
R. Tannehill: 22-33, 296 meters, 2 TDs
M. Jones-Drew: 14-64 meters, TD; 1 rec, 13.71 mtrs
BUCS 27
STEELERS 34
M. Glennon: 19-35, 290 yds, 2 TDs, 2 INTs
M. Wheaton: 6 rec, 75 yds, TD
LIONS 26
JETS 16
E. Ebron: 2 rec, 40 yds, TD
J. Kerley: 5 rec, 85 yds, TD
EAGLES 31
NINERS 35
L. McCoy: 210 yds/scrimmage
F. Gore: 15-80, 2 TDs
BILLS 28
TEXANS 24
BUF D: 7 sacks
TITANS 26
COLTS 33
B. Sankey: 16-75 yds, TD
D. Allen: 5 rec, 60 yds, TD
PANTHERS 17
RAVENS 20
K. Benjamin: 8 rec, 110 yds, TD
S. Smith Sr.: 30 rec, 300 yds
FALCONS 29
VIKES 14
J. Jones: 7 rec, 120 yds
T. Bridgewater: 24-40 yds, 250 yds, TD, 2 INTs
JAGS 21
CHARGERS 31
B. Bortles: 23-42, 320 yds, 3 TDs, 1 INT
P. Rivers: 24-32, 321 yds, 3 TDs
SAINTS 45
COWBOYS 38
P. Thomas: 140 yds/scrimmage, 2 TDs
D. Murray: 20-101, TD, 1 fumble lost
PATS 34
CHIEFS 24
R. Gronkowski: 6 rec, 105 yds, 2 TDs
KC D: 5 sacks
Enjoy this weekend's games. I hope your team wins (unless it's playing my team).
Follow Dave Dameshek on Twitter @Dameshek.