On any given NFL weekend, many different players score touchdowns. Most of them are frequently started on fantasy football rosters. But others come out of nowhere to vulture touchdowns or beat a third-string cornerback repeatedly for a career day. In fantasy, these are our That Helps No One champions. The players whose success leads to the imminent demise of countless fantasy teams. All season long, we'll be tracking and crowning a That Helps No One winner each week on NFL Fantasy LIVE. Below are the top candidates for Week 13.
Fitpatrick was on fire on Sunday, throwing six touchdown passes on the day. And while four of them went to actual fantasy players we care about (Arian Foster, Andre Johnson and DeAndre Hopkins x2), Fitzpatrick still managed to get two "That Helps No One" nods by throwing touchdowns to Ryan Griffin (really?) and J.J. Watt (again?!). But beggars can't be choosers, and seeing as this is the season of giving thanks we should be thankful that Fitzpatrick at least gave us four touchdowns that count.
Shaun Hill to Cory Harkey / Shaun Hill rushing TD
Double-dipping again with two nominations in one paragraph, but that's only because I know your time is precious. Shaun Hill and the Rams absolutely obliterated the Oakland Raiders on Sunday, and while fantasy owners were rewarded with three Tre Mason scores in the process, Hill didn't do them any favors by targeting Cory Harkey on his other throwing touchdown, and then selfishly running one in himself. Come on, Shaun, think of the fantasy owners next time and do them a favor by giving the ball to your playmakers instead.
Jimmy Graham didn't have a catch on Sunday. Not. A. Single. Catch. His fantasy owners (myself included) had salt poured on their wounds when Drew Brees not only threw five touchdown passes on the day (and not a single pass to Graham), but he had the gall to throw one to Erik Lorig. I mean, great, the Saints are now still firmly in playoff contention and I get it, football is a team game and all, but are you kidding me? I ... I ... I can't. Too much fantasy pain.
I'll cut this one some slack since McCoy looked like he was wearing the burnt orange for Texas once more on Sunday the way he shook off would-be tacklers. However, after all of that effort he decided to flip it to Logan Paulsen for the touchdown? Come on Colt. If you want to keep this starting job, you're going to need to start passing it to players fantasy owners actually care about. Just a friendly reminder. You've got a couple of weeks to win us over still, so don't mess it up.
Shane Vereen? Nope. LeGarrette Blount? Nope. Jonas Gray? Nope. #Belitricks? Yup.
Now I know what you might be thinking -- "What is Johnny Manziel doing in here?" Well, in case you were living under a rock or spent all Sunday marathoning "The Walking Dead" to catch up before the mid-season finale, Manziel took his first meaningful snaps as an NFL quarterback on Sunday. He led the Browns on an 80-yard scoring drive, capped off with a 10-yard touchdown run by Johnny Football himself. Seeing as no one, including the most ardent Johnny fans, started Manziel this week, his first touchdown also lands him his first "That Helps No One" nomination.
So who do you think should take home the Week 13 #ThatHelpsNoOne crown? Weigh in on Twitter with #ThatHelpsNoOne and be sure to tune in to NFL Fantasy LIVE (weekdays at 5 p.m. ET on NFL Network) to see who is crowned the Week 13 winner!
-- Follow Alex on Twitter @AlexGelhar.