Nike has reimagined the uniforms for all 32 NFL teams.
The Seattle Seahawks most noticeably rebooted the engine, but the alterations to most uniforms were less severe. Across the board, the NFL's new unis are sleek, but how do they stack up against the other three major sports?
Dave Dameshek -- gentleman/scholar/Renaissance Man and our in-house uniform guru -- has dropped the gauntlet, ranking 122 uniforms from top to bottom across the sporting world.
Naturally, we had to chime in with a few thoughts on 'Shek's masterwork. Here we go:
First, I want to say Dameshek is doing the Lord's work here. 6,000 words on uniforms is glorious and a sign we're healthy as a nation and website. Now for the nitpicks:
» 8. New York Jets: This blew my mind. This is not because I grew up in Massachusetts. I fully support the dead-last ranking of the Flying Elvis Patriots uniforms. But who has ever looked at a Jets uniform and thought "Wow, that's cool." Non-affiliated young kids around the country aren't considering Jets gear. The Jets uniform has always seemed vaguely depressing to me, like many of the adults that wear jerseys.
» 48. The Cincinnati Reds: This uniform and logo is an all-time classic and was treated with surprising disdain here.
(Trying to work through my anger over Rosenthal's malicious and uncalled-for Jets rant ... OK.)
» 25. Green Bay Packers: This needs to be higher. I look at the Packers' dark green and gold get-ups, and it instantly takes me to a frigid day in January, Super Bowl on the line, the dulcet tones of John Facenda rumbling through my mind. "HERE ARE THE GREEN BAY PACKERS OF THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE." Their uniform makes me want to do a Lambeau Leap into a wall of computers ... and then get fired.
» 6. New York Yankees: The classy pinstripes. The imposing grays. The iconic interlocking NY. When God plays baseball, this is the uniform he wears. So yeah, I think it should be higher.
(With a look inside the machine at the ongoing, in-house Pats-Jets angst between Rosenthal and Hanzus, we delve on ...)*
*
» 122. New England Patriots: Dameshek dropped a hammer on New England for exiling Pat the Patriot. Fair enough, but I can't put these unis dead last when the Jacksonville Jaguars prance around on the grass 16 weeks a season. Besides, ripping New England's ensemble starts to feel delusional when we ponder what the Anaheim Ducks are skating around in nightly. 'Shek's Steelers have been victimized by Tom Brady time and again -- this one has "hate crime" written all over it.
» 106. Baltimore Ravens: Dead on. These threads belong in triple-digit territory. The Ravens attempted to capitalize on the craze to dip every sports uniform in a bucket of black paint. The Raiders owned this look. Baltimore lifted it generously. Edgar Allen Poe has no idea what we're talking about.
» 27. Seattle Seahawks: As someone who grew up a fan of the Seahawks, it pains me to say that I'm not a fan of the new Nike-designed uniforms. I understand that the design is meant to be an homage to the Pacific Northwest (would it have killed Nike to include Pearl Jam's "Stickman" logo?), but it comes across as too busy. Plus, the lime-green is fine for futbol, not football. The only hope this new look has is if they pair the "college navy" jersey with the "wolf grey" pants, a look similar to the original design.
» 1. Philadelphia Flyers: The Flyers topping Dameshek's list is proof that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. This is an organization that changes their horrendous sweaters as frequently as they change their horrendous goaltenders. The one constant on the Flyers' sweaters is an orange color that resembles a partially digested circus peanut.
