Welcome to the Around The NFL End Around, a weekly look back at the world of the National Football League. Dan Hanzus serves as your guide.
It was a good week for ...
2. Reggie Bush: The running back has found yet another conductor for the annual Reggie Bush Hype Train. Welcome aboard, Jim Tomsula!
3. Brock Osweiler:He's gonna play more! In practice, but still!
It was a bad week for ...
1. Chuck Pagano: The Colts are sending Pagano into 2015 as a lame duck. Super Bowl or bust for Chuck Strong?
2. Ray Rice: Another silent seven days for Rice on the free-agent front. Is this the end for the running back?
3. PAT purists: Football fans may lose a valuable bathroom break.
Coaches gather at NFL Annual Meeting
Initial impressions ...
Andy Reid is the greatest. Chip Kelly is Johnny Cash. Belichick has no toenail shame. Tom Coughlin manages to look both 70 and 7 at the same time. Todd Bowles is given unmatched air space. Joe Philbin still has a job? Bruce Arians matches his Kangol and shirt. Dan Quinn looks like a bad guy from a Dateline episode. Jack Del Rio has size 48 feet. Jim Tomsula flashes the most chest hair. Pettine and Bradley are in a row two bald-off. Mike Tomlin is over the whole thing. Andy Reid is the greatest, still.
"Hey Towwww-mmy, get awwf tha cliff ya knucklehead!"
I like that guys have clauses in their contracts that forbid them from riding motorcycles or playing basketball, yet Tom Brady can jump off the side of a freaking mountain with no contractual ramifications.
If Jake Locker tried this, he would explode on impact. Jake Locker made a wise decision.
What The What?
I've gotten a few tweets about this guy, an English rugby prospect named Tyrese Johnson-Fisher.
The video is quite striking, particularly the 37-second mark when TJF turns his opponent into a human piñata. You're honestly telling me the Raiders would be better off with Trent Richardson over this guy?
And now the kicker: Johnson-Fisher is only 15 years old. Fifteen! Runs like Chris Johnson, trucks like Marshawn Lynch. I don't know if his abilities would translate to football -- or if he'd even be interested -- but I'm inviting him to work out for my team if I'm a GM. Sadly, I am not a GM.
Tweet of the week
Everything about this idea is problematic and potentially gross, and yet I was disappointed when it didn't happen.
Aaron Rodgers cares not for your criticism
Aaron Rodgers went to Cal, but his college hoops allegiances lie with the University of Wisconsin, which advanced to its second straight Final Four with a win over Arizona on Saturday.
Rodgers attended the game and was on the court when the Badgers cut down the nets following the win. This angered one CBS columnist, who criticizedthe reigning MVP for not giving any interviews and wondered why Rodgers was granted access that credentialed media was not.
The beef found its way to Rodgers, who offered a sharply-worded response, complete with flame-throwing hashtags:
I see both sides here. Rodgers shouldn't feel obligated to talk to the media when he is on his own time. Then again, giving reporters 30 seconds of his time is hardly root canal.
Dennis Dodd only loses me when he questions Rodgers' all-access pass. Fair or not, star pro athletes are afforded life liberties that Chaz Six-Pack or Carl Reporter will never enjoy. It's best not to think about this and just be thankful you weren't born as a garden slug or something.
Thanks Al Gore
It's funny to think back to when the Internet was just this buzzy thing that nobody quite grasped. If you want to relive that feeling of wonder and bewilderment, try to teach your grandmother how to access her Gmail account.
Spring of Gronk update
Yep, everything checks out here. As you were.
Clipboard Jesus' duck dynasty
Here's Titans quarterback Charlie Whitehurst providing some insight into a day in the life of one of Nashville's most beautiful people. I have no idea what one does with 13 deceased ducks, but I'm also not a rugged outdoorsman with impeccable taste in men's headwear.
Quote of the Week, Part I
"My truck is about as subtle as a punch in the nose. It shows how excited I am to be a part of this community."
-- Rex Ryan, on his truck
Here's the truck, in case you forgot ...
Quote of the Week, Part II
"I hit the thing and say, 'Thank you very much, I know exactly where I am now.' She comes back and says, 'You don't have to thank me.' I swear to God, that's what she said. Then I couldn't get her to shut up."
-- Giants coach Tom Coughlin, explaining a recent encounter with Siri, a bot sent from the future to destroy him.
Whoops
The good news in this flub from the New Era folk is that it prompted me to Google "Jacksonville skyline" and you know what? It's not bad! That's an End Around freebie for the Jax tourism board. "Discover Jacksonville! It's not bad!"
Rich guy does rich person stuff
Adrian Peterson arrived at his 30th birthday party last week on a camel. There was also traditional Arabian garb, a birthcake cake that cost more than your car, rapper Wale and Jamie Foxx, who might be contractually obligated to attend a different party every night of his life. He doesn't even have to know the people involved.
Peterson received some criticism when these photos started showing up on social media. I don't quite follow all that. Though, I also wouldn't spend $20,000 to rent a humped beast for two hours.
Hero of the Week: Vikings social media guy
Speaking of A.P., you gotta respect this transparent bid by the Vikings to get back in the good graces of their star running back. Needs more camel.
Villain of the Week: Father Time
Don't let your babies grow up to attend the veteran combine.
Until next time ...
The "Around The League Podcast" is now available on iTunes! Click here to listen and subscribe.
