Welcome to the Around The NFL End Around, a weekly look back at the world of the National Football League. Dan Hanzus serves as your guide.
It was a good week for ...
1. Ben Roethlisberger:Fantasy owners bow at the feet of Big Ben. Twelve touchdowns in two games? Madden on beginner level production for the Steelers' eternally underrated star.
2. Browns fans: This is really happening. You just whooped a division rival on the road in prime time to move into first place. You also probably ended Andy Dalton's career as a guy people take seriously. Mike Pettine closed down a bar somewhere last night.
3. James Harrison: That's four sacks in the last two weeks for Harrison, who proves once and for all that nice guys really do finish first.
It was a bad week for ...
1. Brett Favre: The Ol' Gunslinger found out on *The Rich Eisen Show* that he was the third casting choice for his cameo in There's Something About Mary. You can live with getting passed over for Steve Young, but Drew Bledsoe? That stings.
2. Mark Sanchez haters: Sanchez was the focus of many a glowing think pieces this week as he prepares for his first start since 2012. A respectable career after the Butt Fumble? It could happen.
3. Jadeveon Clowney: It's starting to feel like Clowney's rookie year is going to be remembered as a total loss. Let's hope it's not a sign of things to come for one of the most hyped defensive prospects in a decade.
And now, a commercial break
Like you, I've seen this Andy Dalton Pepsi commercial roughly 37,000 times since the season started. But I didn't really watch it until this week. There's a lot going on here.
So, yeah. Some takeaways:
1. Andy Dalton's eyebrows: They look like something a guy would paint on the side of his street racer. Just two comets streaking through the atmosphere.
2. Andy Dalton's unquenchable thirst for Pepsi-Cola: He can't stop drinking it during the faux-presser. He asks a complete stranger if he can drink some of her Pepsi, which is kind of gross and not totally safe given the news lately.
3. "Mango-Habanero?" Guy: He just seems cool. I would definitely chill with him at a local Buffalo Wild Wings establishment.
4. Area marching band: Love how they absolutely rip into Survivor's "Eye Of The Tiger" when Dalton announces that everyone in the restaurant is getting tickets to "the game."
5. And last, but certainly not least, gramps:
On a side note, I wonder how it would go over if Andy Dalton rolled into a Buffalo Wild Wings in Cincinnati after Thursday night? He best slug down that Pepsi at home for a few days.
Tweet of the week
I've really enjoyed the Michael Vick era in New York.
Yes, Bears fans, we sense your massive consternation
That's a lotta interceptions!
The Bill Belichick-The Weather Channel war wages on
You may remember the Patriots coach putting the entire meteorology sector on blast last week in regard to the veracity of weather reports on football Sundays. The Weather Channel -- which I guess people still need? -- fired back at Belichick with the above retort. I like how Sam Champion looks on approvingly as Mike Bettes drops his data bomb.
"Go for it, Mike. Today, you speak for all of us."
Quote of the Week, Part I
"I just need to go to like an island or something."
-- Andre Johnson, who sounds like a guy who's had just about enough of the Houston Texans
Quote of the Week, Part II
"Going to play quarterback for the Jets, it's kind of like you know when they used to like take the pretty young virgin up to the edge of the volcano and just throw 'em in? That's kind of what it is when you play quarterback for the Jets. It just feels bad."
-- Drew Bledsoe, who, for the record, had to pull out of There's Something About Mary after he injured a woman stage-diving at an Everclear concert. Everclear!
Your weekly reminder that Bruce Arians is fire
Villain of the Week: Jeremy Hill
Hey buddy, don't try to take this moment from Browns fans. Don't you know these people only understand disappointment? Do you even know about The Factory Of Sadness? It's a real thing. Or it was. It might be closing now and your negative comments aren't appropriate. I don't typically get behind punter trash talk, but take it away, actual NFL player named SPENCER LANNING:
Until next time ...
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