Paging Tony Romo. A former teammate needs your help.
Oh, the humanity.
Ezekiel Elliott is exactly the type of guy you don't want in front of you on the golf course. He'll miss the ball entirely in his first attempt at a drive, follow with a 45-yard ground ball and eventually reach the green in, oh, six additional strokes. That's all before the inevitable four-putt. Wait, are Zeke and his buddies shooting the s--- on the green? GET OFF THE GREEN.
You'll put up with this for three holes (four holes max) before one of your buddies (not you, of course), works up the courage to ask to play through. He won't know what that means and you'll be forced to explain this basic bit of golf etiquette. It will be excruciating.
Twenty minutes later, we're back on a tee box only this time Zeke and his friends are waiting on you. Feeling the pressure of this NFL star and his buds, who still harbor an obvious grudge about the play-through detente, you hit a ghastly one-hopper into the pond located on the parallel hole.
Zeke and his boys laugh at you and you quietly resolve to never golf ever again. Scene.
