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"Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way. ... But out of that a new holiday was born: a Festivus for the rest of us!"
Any fan of "Seinfeld" no doubt remembers the words of Frank Costanza and the new holiday tradition that was born on each December 23. There are many traditions of Festivus: From the aluminum poll to the feats of strength. But no tradition is more popular than the airing of grievances.
With that in mind, I would like to share six of my biggest grievances with you (trust me, I have more). A quick aside: I have a grievance with Microsoft Word for not recognizing "Festivus" as a real world and trying to autocorrect it.
And without further ado ...
As a child, I sincerely thought that Hulk Hogan and the Macho Man Randy Savage hated each other. You know why? They didn't hug and laugh after beating each other to a pulp in the ring -- they kept the fraternization backstage. I'm not saying that we need a Schwartz vs. Harbaugh blowup after every game, but can you at least look sad that you lost?
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The Hall of Fame
Insisting at least four people make the Hall of Fame every year ensures some questionable players are going to make it in (looking at you, Dan Hampton). So where is Charles Haley? This needs to be corrected this year. Oh, and put the pro football in Pro Football Hall of Fame by putting Damon Allen in Canton.
Your back lunges for the goal-line, the referee signals touchdown and the crowd goes wild ... followed by a five-minute break of Nickelback tunes while the referee makes sure the runner scored. Yes, you want to get the call correct, but you're killing the emotion of the game. Kind of like when Adam Baldwin had to console Randy Quaid's son in "Independence Day." Let the officials make the call.
With all of the medical advances in the world, we have yet to find a way to keep hamstrings from failing? Just look at some of the star power missing this season because of hamstring injuries: Andre Johnson, Miles Austin and Patrick Willis to name a few. Oh, and don't get me started with the high ankle, either.
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Chris Johnson
This isn't about my fantasy team, but rather your nickname. You stopped being CJ2K two seasons ago. You're barely above Ben Tate at this point. But this goes to a larger issue of a dearth of nicknames. In a sport that once boasted "Crazy Legs" and "Night Train," we have guys stealing nicknames from other people (LaDainian Tomlinson and Aaron Rodgers). We need to fix this.
When Jack Youngblood joined us on the Dave Dameshek Football Program I was shocked to learn that the St. Louis Football Club wants nothing to do with Hall of Famers from the L.A. Rams. And I can kind of see their point. Those fans in St. Louis didn't root for the Rams. So then why do they insist on keeping that name? Give it back to Los Angeles. Better yet, just right the wrong and return the team.
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Air your own grievances **via Twitter* or *via Facebook*. Also be sure to catch the latest on the *Dave Dameshek Football Program*.*
