Dear readers: Please refrain from laughing at what you're about to read, seeing as this story could've had serious consequences for our protagonist.
Dallas Cowboys fullback Lawrence Vickers was practicing with teammates Wednesday when he suddenly raced off the field.
It appeared, from an outsider's perspective, to be a groin injury. In reality, Vickers had ants in his pants, bad news for a guy who's allergic to the insect.
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"I was doing the play," Vickers said, according to the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. "I was running, and I was blocking someone. Then I walk off, and I'm like, 'Oh snap.' And I pulled my pants down to see, and I saw ants."
(You know what, just start laughing. The "oh snap" part slayed me.)
Vickers washed off and took Benadryl before re-joining his teammates.
"As soon as I got bit, I was like, 'No,' because I didn't want to freak out," said Vickers, who signed a two-year deal with the Cowboys during the offseason. "I wanted to pull my pants down and run inside, but I couldn't do that."
Almost unbelievably, this isn't the first time that ants have invaded Vickers' pants this year. Four months ago, he was stretching out in a grassy area when he felt some bites.
"I was wheezing, and I had to drive myself to a CVS to get some medicine," he said.
We can only hope Vickers' ants-in-the-pants days are through this year, though it's a long summer with many a grassy area standing in his way.
