Chris Wesseling has had it up to HERE with the faulty football logic he's seen flying fast and furious lately. Below, he thoroughly -- if a bit crankily -- debunks some of the more galling popular fallacies that have taken root:
Shady's revenge on the nerds
As a Pro Bowl running back for the Buffalo Bills, LeSean McCoy is a core member of the exclusive club of American professional athletes.
Comfortably inside the velvet ropes, he's eager to enforce the first rule of the player's club: delegitimize those not in the club.
It's the same tired script baseball great Barry Bonds was reading from a decade ago when he dismissed broadcasting legend Bob Costas as a "little midget man who absolutely knows jack [expletive] about baseball, who never played the game before."
McCoy's bullying balderdash was directed at Pro Football Focus in response to a top-101 list that did not include his name.
Who cares about the opinions of "a bunch of nerds who never played a lick of football"? McCoy, for one. His tweet not only stands as a dead giveaway that PFF's ranking matters, but it also negates his attempt to delegitimize an analytics site that meticulously grades every player on every play of every game.
I might not agree with every ranking or grade generated by Pro Football Focus, but their respect for the material shines through. Those of us charged with chronicling the game understand the painstaking diligence in their work.
McCoy is an insider. It's no coincidence that the first football analytics site to gain widespread popularity chose the name "Football Outsiders."
Just as a free press plays a crucial role in the political process, analysts and reporters outside the game have fostered an understanding of football that goes deeper than worn-out clichés, anecdotal favoritism and casual acceptance of the status quo.
When Howard Cosell headlined the iconic "Monday Night Football" booth in the 1970s, he vowed to "destroy the parrots in the cages who have been providing us with their fatigued litany for years."
We've come a long way since Cosell railed against the prevailing "jockocracy" that dominated the sports analysis landscape.
The internet provides a flavor for every taste bud.
Seeking insight into the NFL experience on the field and in the locker room? Former coaches and players have you covered.
Angling for the scoop on trades, signings and firings before your friends find out? Rely on an ace reporter such as Ian Rapoport, Mike Garafolo, Adam Schefter or Jay Glazer.
Do you want your NFL news delivered by a talented writer capable of weaving history, relevant statistics, anecdotes and analysis into a riveting story? Around The NFL's staff is at your fingertips.
What about digging down into the bedrock, unlocking the game film to reflect the complex relationship between talent and production? Find your voices in the wilderness such as Pro Football Focus, Football Outsiders, NFL Films analyst Greg Cosell or the "Around The NFL Podcast."
We've graduated beyond the Stone Age of football. Those who haven't played the game at the highest level are fully capable of understanding and communicating its beauty as well as its intricacies.
You're no Legion of Boom
The Dolphins' pass defense finished in the middle of the pack last season. If you watched Joe Flaccocarve up its soft underbelly in early December, it might surprise you to learn that cornerback Byron Maxwell believes Miami's secondary has the potential to rival his old "Legion of Boom" group that led the Seahawks to back-to-back Super Bowl appearances.
"We can be talked about how they talked about us in Seattle," Maxwell said last week. "We've just got to find a nickname."
Can we elect a commissioner of sports to put an end to this nonsense?
As far as I can tell, the custom of bestowing catchy cognomens on defensive backfields began in the 1970s with the Oakland Raiders' "Soul Patrol" unit that featured Hall of Famer Willie Brown, "Dr. Death" Skip Thomas, Jack "The Assassin" Tatum, and "The Hitman" George Atkinson.
When you boast a historically great secondary -- such as the Soul Patrol or the Legion of Boom -- the nickname works. The defense is enlivened, the fan base is engaged and previously overlooked players gain deserved recognition.
When you're a fly-by-night operation, though, you come across as a cheap knockoff desperately seeking attention.
The Legion of Boom have spawned uninspiring imitations in Denver ("No-Fly Zone"), Carolina ("Thieves Ave.") and New York ("NYPD").
The Seahawks secondary will go down in history because it's led by a trio of uniquely talented, mentally tough competitors in Richard Sherman, Earl Thomas and Kam Chancellor. Until the Dolphins find defensive backs of that magnitude, the only T-shirts they'll be printing will be of the novelty variety.
Speaking of which ...
Blitz for Six?
Good thinking, Patriots. Beat the rush.
Look what you have wrought, Pat Riley!
When the former Lakers coach registered the "Three-peat" portmanteau as a trademark in the late 1980s, it came across a fresh, interesting story. It played on a theme that went all the way back to a 1930s radio program and immediately gained widespread acceptance among NBA aficionados following Los Angeles' ultimately unsuccessful championship run during the 1988-89 season.
Blitz for Six, on the other hand, has no chance to enter the football zeitgeist. It's misguided sloganeering from a mind that mistakes random rhyming for irresistible marketing.
The Patriots aren't even known as a blitzing defense, for crying out loud! Make it stop.
