Oh. My God.
As Darren Sproles pill-balled towards the end zone like some revelers walking down Bourbon Street late in the evening during the final moments of Monday night's game against the Colts, I really thought I was going to pull it off. The Monday Nightmare was going to turn into the Monday Miracle for the second consecutive week.
But it wasn't to be. Sproles was tackled at the 19 (which in my recollection of the moment really thought was a lot closer, maybe I had just wished he was closer); my week was pretty much done. There was no chance the Eagles were going to risk going for the touchdown. Though, Chip Kelly would have been a lot cooler if he did.
I can't blame the Eagles, though. This just wasn't going to be my week. I thought it was going to be when I paired Knowshon Moreno with Adrian Peterson as my running backs on Tuesday morning, in anticipation of Week 2. But you can kind of see where this is headed.
Not to bore you with the details, but I needed 30 points from Nick Foles. Not outrageous when you consider this league gives bonuses for yardage and six points per TD pass. Two handoffs in the red zone foiled that. Not a bad effort for a team which got less than two points from Moreno and Toby Gerhart.
At least Matt Shoemaker was dealing in Anaheim as the Angels clinched a playoff spot, so I wasn't completely morose about the whole evening. And then scrolling through the #MondayNightmare feed on Twitter showed I also wasn't alone.
You know, I don't know what your roster looks like, Dustin. But dude, Sproles is legit.
Yeah, and they didn't put you away quickly.
Why is Foles throwing picks now?
Well, uh, there's always next week.
Yeah, but everybody would have played Matt Forte in that instance.
This isn't Monday night bragging.
See, don't you all feel better now? (Well, except for Steve who just gloated.) Consider this your fantasy therapy couch. You're among friends, so go ahead and let it out. Trust me, you'll feel better when you do.
Play along every week with the #MondayNightmare and you can be featured here in this space. Be sure to follow Rank via Twitter. He thinks he's hilarious.