Dameshek here. I started the 2012 season with four fantasy teams. After one week of the fantasy playoffs, I'm down to just one. Sure, that's better than having zero ... but I could've had four teams still alive if the players I drafted hadn't let me down! But this isn't just about me. It's about shining the white-hot light of shame on anybody who's cost any of you fantasy owners precious points.
So let's get into it. And just remember, players and coaches: don't get angry at me if I call your name. Ultimately, I didn't put you on this list. You put you on this list. Let it begin!
#5
Vernon Davis, TE, San Francisco 49ers (0.40pts; 1.90pts over the last three games)
If Albert Einstein was right when he said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, then put me in a straitjacket and send me to the asylum, 'cause I've stuck with Davis longer than any right-minded fantasy owner would.
#4
Haloti Ngata's hip
It wasn't intentional, but when Ngata's plus-sized torso collided with RG3's elastic knee (RG-Knee?), the fate of many fantasy owners bent downward. The Redskins' matchup this Sunday versus the Browns is relatively promising, but even if Griffin suits up, can you really put him in your lineup when he could wind up on the sideline after a series or two? (That wasn't a rhetorical question. The answer should be "no".) Thanks for nothing, Ngata's hip!
#3
Andrew Luck, QB, Indianapolis Colts (8.54)
Rookie of the Year? Please. Not with a playoff performance like this. On the bright side, Colts fans are surely accustomed to watching a world-class QB who becomes mortal once the postseason begins. (Sorry, Peyton advocates, but facts are facts.)
#2
CJs (Spiller 5.90; Chris Johnson/CJ2K 5.90; Calvin Johnson (11.8)
Spiller has shown the ability to be a bonafide home run hitter this season, but simply isn't getting enough touches consistently in Buffao's offense ... which I guess means I oughta shame CG (Chan Gailey), too. Chris Johnson's made more excuses than big plays for two seasons now. And while it's not fair to beat up on the mighty Megatron too much, he didn't get in the endzone (and has only five times all season). He's been unstoppable since November arrived (100-plus receiving yards in six straight games) ... except in the redzone.
And that brings us to No. 1 and the Brown Paper Bag of Shame. This week, it goes to...
The Houston Texans' lettermen jackets!
Sure, they're nifty, but it was not a good idea to give the Patriots (more) motivation to knock you off your perch. Matt Schaub and Owen Daniels had little value going into this one, but Andre Johnson (11th WR overall) and Arian Foster (No. 2 RB overall) might've been in line for big games... until those dang jackets showed up and caught the Pats' eyes for all the wrong reasons. Burn the jackets and replace 'em with a more modest look: the Brown Paper Bag of Shame!
'Til next time ... enjoy the holidays ... and try not to embarrass yourselves.
