Midway through the original Toy Story movie, bouts of calamity spurned by jealousy and ill-conceived plots find main characters Woody and Buzz marooned at a gas station.
Woody, our lovable sheriff, is ready to flip out on Buzz, blaming the self-described space ranger for the quandary in which they find themselves.
"Sheriff, this is no time to panic," says Buzz.
"This is the perfect time to panic!" retorts a worked-up Woody.
The scene devolves much like one featuring a bickering married couple, wherein neither actually listens to the other's stance, with both becoming more entrenched in venting their respective points.
Whenever anyone brings up NFL teams panicking, Woody's line instantly rattles around in my brain. The thing is, even when he advocates for freaking out in the moment, the canny cowboy doll does anything but panic. Instead, he keeps his wits, sees a solution to the situation and convinces Buzz to go along with his plan. Away we go on an adventure that turns a rivalry into a lasting friendship.
The lesson here is that, even when the initial inkling is to go into full-blown panic mode, the best don't completely melt; rather, they settle their steaming emotions and find solutions for their self-induced predicaments.
Six weeks into the 2024 season, several NFL teams are screaming toward that panic button, while others have it in their periphery. Let's take our magnifying glass out this week and look at position groupings/teams that could be approaching panic mode.
NEARING SIREN LEVEL
Dak Prescott said he's "not a guy to hit the panic button." That's a positive sign for Dallas (3-3). It does not help for on-field leaders to panic. Better to mimic Aaron Rodgers' R-E-L-A-X mantra from 2014. At any rate, if that panic button were hidden in the end zone of the AT&T Stadium, the Cowboys probably wouldn't be able to find it right now.
They are coming off the biggest home blowout in Jerry Jones' tenure as owner. The defeats in their own stadium are getting embarrassing, with Mike McCarthy's team trailing by at least 22 points in each of their last four home games. Things are certainly getting hot in Dallas, and the Cowboys know it.
It's not just the banged-up defense getting steamrolled. The offense can't sustain drives. The run game is nonexistent. The offensive line makes far too many mistakes. CeeDee Lamb appears to be letting frustration get to him. And Prescott himself is making far too many errors. On Sunday, the quarterback scuttled the first drive with a couple of misses, then tossed a horrific end-zone INT on the second. If those drives had ended with TDs, the entire tenor of the discussion around this team could have changed.
The Cowboys desperately need to get healthy on D after their Week 7 bye. More importantly, McCarthy and Prescott must get together and decide what they want to be on offense. The current scheme isn't working, with Dallas' receivers rarely separating. A gauntlet of games against San Francisco, Atlanta, Philadelphia, Houston and Washington awaits following the break. If the offense doesn't carry the Cowboys, Prescott will likely be learning an entirely new system in 2025.
It feels like those fun first two weeks of the season came 14 Mardi Gras ago. Dennis Allen's team has capsized, losing four consecutive contests, and now welcomes former boss Sean Payton and the Broncos to town for Thursday Night Football.
In Weeks 1 and 2, New Orleans put up consecutive 40-burgers. In the four games since then, the team averaged 19 points and was twice held below 14 points. The early-season wins appear to have been a mirage of whimsy, quickly blown away. When the 2-4 Saints' running game is slowed, the entire operation bogs down. Klint Kubiak and Co. can't count on 40-yard bombs to propel them to consistency.
Rookie quarterback Spencer Rattler started Week 6 in place of an injured Derek Carr and flashed some promise, particularly with his accuracy on the move. But when Bucs coach Todd Bowles went into "Screw it, we're sending everyone" mode on defense, Rattler was overwhelmed. Expect more of that kind of approach from 2024 blitz king Vance Joseph on Thursday. With Chris Olave suffering a concussion (he's dealt with concussions in each of his previous two NFL seasons) and Rashid Shaheed dealing with a knee injury that a source described to NFL Network Insider Ian Rapoport as "concerning," the Saints' weapons will be stretched thin.
The bigger issue in the Bayou is the defense. Cracks began to show against Atlanta and Kansas City, and then the dam broke against the Bucs. This past Sunday, the Saints allowed 594 total yards, second-most in a game in team history. They weren't fluky plays from Tampa, either. The yardage was piled up thanks to a trove of missed tackles from New Orleans, Saints being in the wrong gaps and assignments being blown. If Allen's defense can't serve as the backbone, the entire operation will collapse.
More troubling still, Allen has not shown much ability to turn things around as a head coach. He went 8-28 in two-plus years in Oakland. Since taking over for Payton in New Orleans, he's gone 7-10 in 2022 and 9-8 in '23. The current four-game skid could spell doom, particularly if it reaches five against the much-loved Super Bowl-winning coach.
Tennessee has a quarterback problem. On the face of it, Brian Callahan's club has shown way too much promise on defense and has too much talent on offense to be a depressing 1-4.
The Titans rank ninth in FTN's defensive DVOA metrics. The D is capable of stuffing the middle and making plays on the second level, and the L'Jarius Sneed-Jarvis Brownlee Jr. corner duo is as physical as they come. Callahan has suggested multiple times that the defense's strong performance should have won them games.
An offense that boasts DeAndre Hopkins, Calvin Ridley, Tyler Boyd and Tony Pollard should not have hit the 300-yards mark just once in five contests so far -- and Tennessee didn't reach 301 in that lone outlier. To say Will Levis has struggled would be kind. The QB has gone over the 200-yard mark once and has thrown seven INTs, including a couple of game-losers; his 10 total giveaways lead all players. Levis' self-described boneheaded decisions aren't the only issue. He simply doesn't seem to fit the offense Callahan wants to run. We're in square-peg-round-hole territory. In trying to stay on schedule, Levis has stopped generating the splash plays he provided last year with his big arm. His lack of accuracy stunts far too many drives. It's simply not the offense for Levis right now.
Callahan has stuck by the second-year pro. Mason Rudolph's meandering performance in the Week 4 win over Miami didn't exactly stoke a controversy. However, if Levis continues to devolve, the first-year coach's only path to getting out of the quagmire might be going to a different quarterback. A few more expletive-filled postgame rants from the Titans' prized offseason signing might put Callahan in danger of losing the locker room.
Doug Pederson is already talking about culture changes. Andre Cisco conjured the Q-word unprovoked. Everything is a mess in Jacksonville. It sounds like the Jaguars (1-5) found a giant panic button in London and are hopping up and down on it.
The old saying goes: NFL games are won in the trenches. That's where the Jags lose them. The offensive and defensive lines have been ripped through. Opponents bully the Jags, as we saw the Bears do this past Sunday at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium. Unfortunately for Pederson, reinforcements for those issues aren't answering the call for aid. First, the Jags need their current investments to step up.
Trevor Lawrence has vacationed in a $55 million hut of shame this season. The QB is trying to make big plays but has come up shy. Entering Week 7, he's completed just 31 of his 73 downfield attempts (those of 10-plus air yards) for a rate of 42.5 percent -- the ninth lowest in the NFL, per Next Gen Stats. Gabe Davis, the big-money addition, is dropping the ball at the wrong time. And even when healthy, Travis Etienne has been inefficient. Outside of Tank Bigsby and Brian Thomas Jr., the entire Jags offense has played below its talent level for the balance of the season.
It's been no better on defense, where new coordinator Ryan Nielsen was supposed to bring swag and a more physical scheme. Instead, Jacksonville has been blown off the ball, allowing a league-worst +0.26 EPA per dropback. Devin Lloyd's play has deteriorated since Foye Oluokun went down, forcing the former to play more in the middle. Arik Armstead has been a disappointing addition.
The Jags entered the season believing they'd made additions to get them to the next level. Instead, they're bottoming out six weeks in. That usually happens when the top-paid players on the club are underperforming their deals.
From Browns fans to the media, seemingly everyone has already hit the panic button on the season. Well, everyone except for Kevin Stefanski. The head coach continues to stick with Deshaun Watson despite the starter's clear struggles in Cleveland's 1-5 start. Yes, the offensive line is a mess, but Watson is paid at a level to overcome a faulty front. Instead, he's turtling behind it. Quite literally. The QB has taken an NFL-high 31 sacks. Those are drive killers. On many, he doesn't trust his eyes, missing open targets, and his lack of pocket deftness is striking compared to how he used to perform.
Watson's inaccuracy and inadequate rapport with his receivers are evident. There are more miscommunications between the QB and his top targets than with any other veteran signal-caller at this stage of the season. The massive, fully guaranteed contract might make Watson difficult to bench, but at what point does the two-time Coach of the Year look at the rest of the locker room battling uphill and make an honest assessment about what's best for everyone? This is a team that just went to the postseason with Joe Flacco. It's never looked as good with Watson under center.
The trade of Amari Cooper to Buffalo could signal massive midseason changes in Cleveland. The question is when, if ever, more will come.
The Jets could have been in the lower category of this exercise, but owner Woody Johnson -- convinced his roster is the best he's ever had -- has already played one panic card, firing Robert Saleh just five games into the season. Gang Green then made the blockbuster move for Davante Adams. At 2-4, they're all in on 2024. Even if you think those were calculated moves, there is no denying the Jets are hitting some sort of button in an effort to turn the season around.
The main reason for optimism going forward: The Jets' schedule sets up for a second-half run. They currently have the second-easiest remaining slate on paper, per Pro Football Focus.
The issue for Aaron Rodgers and Co.: They have almost zero room left for error.
Losing three straight one-score games stings, but the bigger issue is that we still don't know if this New York squad is truly any good. The Jets' only two victories thus far have come against a pair of one-win teams in Tennessee and New England. The defense has gotten run over on multiple occasions this season. The offense has had its moments, but routinely falls short in the red zone, having yet to score more than 24 points in any game this season.
Adams' arrival gives Rodgers a trusty weapon opposite Garrett Wilson and Allen Lazard. Still, if the offensive line continues to deteriorate under pressure -- as it did in this past Monday night's loss to the Bills -- the 40-year-old quarterback might not last long.
HAND HOVERING OVER THE ALARM
It takes significant futility to conjure stats from the 1930s. Yet here is Nick Sirianni's club becoming the first Eagles squad since 1934 to go the first five games without a point in the first quarter.
Yet, I wouldn't be panicking just yet. Outside of one really bad performance against Tampa -- Todd Bowles can have that effect -- the Eagles (3-2) have stacked yards. The ability to move the ball should give way to points at some stage. Philadelphia has racked up 400-plus yards twice and gone over the 360-yard mark four times in five games. That's not terrible offense. It's one that needs to finish. Despite averaging 21.2 points per game (18th), Philly is ranked 12th in offensive DVOA, per FTN's metrics, 11th in EPA per play and fifth in rush EPA per play. The building blocks are there.
Adding to the optimism: While the offense continued to act like the end zone was made of lava in this past Sunday's 20-16 win over Cleveland, the overall performance was better than the box score indicated. Getting A.J. Brown, DeVonta Smith and Lane Johnson back in the fold obviously makes life easier for Jalen Hurts. In the two games he's played this season, Brown has put up 119 and 116 yards with two total touchdowns. He's a true difference maker. If he stays healthy, the Eagles' offense should produce. The hope is that Sirianni stays out of the way and lets the offense cook when it's at full force.
Jayden Daniels and the offense under Kliff Kingsbury have been a revelation, divebombing defenses and creatively dicing up opponents with aplomb rarely seen from first-year QBs and retread coaches. The question is whether Dan Quinn's defense could be Washington's Achilles' heel.
Currently, the 4-2 Commanders rank No. 2 in FTN's offensive DVOA and No. 28 in defensive DVOA. That's a yawning gap rarely seen in division-leading clubs. In 2024, a high-powered offense can take you places, but the defense needs to be serviceable in the long run.
We knew entering the season that the Commanders could have trouble rushing the passer. Now, DT Jonathan Allen is out for the year with a pec injury, while DE Dorance Armstrong is dealing with a rib issue. This could be a recipe for disaster, considering the defense already allows +0.06 EPA per play (sixth-worst in the NFL, per Next Gen Stats). Quinn has helped paper over some of the secondary issues that plagued Washington the past few seasons, but they still rear their head (fourth-worst EPA per pass play at +0.15).
Washington's counting on Daniels to continue his super-human run through the NFL. Can the rookie keep piling up points and jaw-dropping plays while carrying a sagging defense to the NFC East title?
The start of Seattle's season always seemed like an illusion. The Seahawks were the first team since the 1979 Steelers to start 3-0 and allow fewer than 150 pass yards in each of their first three games. But now, any comparison to the Super Bowl XIV winners looks foolish.
As the competition went up, the yards allowed skyrocketed for Mike Macdonald's defense. In the past three weeks, the 'Hawks have allowed 389 total yards to the Lions, 420 to the Giants and 483 to the 49ers. Seattle has given up 35.7 points per game over those three tilts.
Even Geno Smith, Kenneth Walker III, DK Metcalf and a top-10 offense can't overcome the defensive issues that have spurred the three-game losing skid. Yes, the injures have been an issue. Most teams deal with those. The middle of Macdonald's defense has been a massive issue. The former Ravens defensive coordinator doesn't have Roquan Smith in Seattle. Unless the coach shores up the interior, the steamrolling could continue with games against the Falcons (Bijan Robinson/Tyler Allgeier), Bills (James Cook/Josh Allen/Ray Davis) and Rams (Kyren Williams) on tap.
After starting the year at 3-0, the Seahawks are 3-3 -- and if they don't fix the defense, they could hit the Week 10 bye at 3-6.
