- Never name your team after your girlfriend or cat.
- Listen to the experts.
- Don't listen to the experts.
- No complaining after a win.
- Being a fantasy coach does not give you the right to slap people on the butt.
- It's your duty to talk trash. Period.
- Making stupid trades to help another team steal the title is lame.
- Avoid 'friendly' advice.
- Don't draft a player that's already been drafted.
- Set your lineup on Tuesday morning. Fine-tune it every day afterward.
- It's never over until it's Tuesday.
- Be wary of last minute changes to your lineup ... go with your gut.
- Doubtful means he's not playing. Game-time decision means #%$@&!
- Teams who forgot their QB had a bye week should be mocked.
- Drafting first is overrated.
- Teams starting an injured player should be scorned.
- Know how to pronounce your draft pick.
- Keeping a kicker in a keeper league is open to ridicule.
- Losing 120-119 is NOT a moral victory.
- The best trades are often the ones you do not make.
- Running back-by-committee is a plot to undermine fantasy players.
- A running back is only as good as his offensive line.
- Recreating your alma mater's bowl lineup from five years ago doesn't work.
- Don't trade for a player because your girlfriend thinks he has 'cool hair.'
- Always play fantasy football at NFL.com.
FIVE MORE RULES NFL.COM VIEWERS SUBMITTED
- Don't draft your fantasy football team using the fantasy football insert from the TV Guide.
- Unsigned players always do better before you pick them up.
- Although your league commissioner is in all likelihood a power-mongering tyrant, not even a sacrificial offering will appease him. Only a gold trophy (digital or real) will.
- When deciding on your first-round pick, consider the likelihood, or lack thereof, that this is the year the Madden cover curse is broken.
- Don't add a player because he has the same last name as you.