God created mozzarella sticks so that everybody could be happy. I don't know how a story about breaded and fried greatness could skew in a negative direction, but such is the position we find ourselves in right now.
On Tuesday, Broncos star linebacker Von Miller decided to treat himself. He went to see the new Star Wars and purchased mozzarella sticks and an Icee as in-film snacks. Unfortunately, the combination didn't sit well, and Miller fell asleep before the blockbuster concluded.
(This is the part of the story where all the Star Wars nerds shout, "YOU BURIED THE LEDE! HOW COULD YOU FALL ASLEEP DURING 'AWAKENS'! IT'S SIMPLY NOT POSSIBLE!" Yes it is. Focus up, guys.)
Miller showed up at the Broncos facility in rough shape the next day and was sent home.
"The Force struck back," Miller said, according to USA Today.
Miller was at the facility and back to 100 percent on Thursday. He was a full participant in practice.
"You can't put regular gas in a Ferrari," Miller said. "I learned my lesson."
Final note: My NFL Media colleague, Henry Hodgson, read the first line of this post over my shoulder moments ago and aggressively contended that mozzarella sticks are overrated and only have value as an indulgent snack when paired with marinara sauce. I respect Henry's right to an opinion, but we are no longer on speaking terms.
