Brutal. Even Lynn Dickey and Robert Brooks turned this one off. Terrell Buckley could have covered the Cowboys receivers in this, the Wade Phillips swan song.

This was the worst "Football Night in America" ever. The whole game it looked like Phillips was doing long division in his head. The final score in the game fans circled on the calendar? 45-7, Packers.

There were a lot of people pumped for this AFC Wild Card, myself included. That was until Matt Cassel played like a guy that held the clipboard his entire college career, and the Chiefs were trotting Kevin Curtis out there at wide receiver. I had forgotten Curtis was still in the league. Johnny Morton wasn't available?

Here's your stat of the day: Ravens first downs -- 26; Chiefs -- 8.

Baltimore ran the ball 16 of its last 18 plays from scrimmage, barely pulling this one out 30-7.

Any fan leaving a comment that disagrees with this selection should be forced to watch "Ram It" with Adam Rank and some Pabst Blue Ribbon. This game could easily be No. 1.

Bears quarterback Todd Collins had maybe the worst performance in a backup role since Coy and Vance replaced Bo and Duke on "The Dukes of Hazard." Try these figures on for size: six of 16 for 32 yards and four interceptions. Bo Derek would have been more effective, and yet the Bears still won 23-6. Say what?

What a dud. ESPN promoted this game endlessly, but no amount of "boo-yah's" could've made this one fun to watch. The Jets linebackers couldn't cover, but the safeties made up for it by not knowing where to be. The second installment of the alleged best rivalry in the NFL was a laugher in the Patriots' favor, 45-3.

Meanwhile, with over 100 yards receiving, the legend of Danny "Woodcock" was born.

Vince Young was gone and Kerry Collins hurt. Enter Rusty Smith, your Titans starting quarterback for this AFC South "clash" with the Texans.

Any guy named Rusty instantly makes me think of the Griswalds, headgear and the revolving door of kids in the "National Lampoon Vacation" movies. Any time you make Glover Quin (three interceptions) and the Texans' secondary look like Ronnie Lott and the 1984 49ers, you've got some problems.

You know why this game is on here? Because it was supposed to be a real sexy season opener. Cincinnati, beginning defense of its AFC North crown at home against a playoff team that was supposed to be equal in talent. All good stuff, right?

This was one season debut that was actually worse than FOX's "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles" series. The final score was 38-24, but it wasn't even that close. Carson Palmer threw for 345 yards. Awesome. His best pass of the day was right in Gary Guyton's chest. Guyton is a linebacker for New England, by the way. I believe he enjoyed his first career touchdown.

Joe Carter once compared the 1993 Toronto Blue Jays lineup to Michael Jackson's Thriller album, saying "the hits keep on comin'." The Panthers' catalogue of games was more similar to anything Limp Bizkit ever put out.

There were probably 10 Panthers games that could've made this list. Just seeing their white and baby blue uni's in the cold of Heinz Field, you knew they were gonna get killed. In fact, Pittsburgh outgained Carolina 409-119 in this NFL Network classic ... 409 to 119! It was so good that none of our own employees remember it.

No game screamed "John Fox!" more than this one. Let's be honest, maybe hiring the head coach of the worst team in 2010 -- the Panthers -- wasn't the public relations maneuver of the century, but Fox's defensive mind must be what John Elway was hiring. Anyone who sat through the Raiders' 59-14 trouncing of the Broncos (in Denver no less) saw a team that looked old on defense.

Secretly, I loved this game. I mean, it was an ass-kicking. Remember in Tecmo Bowl when your neighbor would try to stop video Bo, and you could run that Marcus Allen stretch play up top all day long? That was this game.

From an analysis standpoint, I learned as much from watching this game as seventh graders could learn Revolutionary War history from Sarah Palin.

To review, Denver lost 43-13 in Kyle Orton's last hurrah as a starter. While you just can't beat Orton vs. Skelton, as in John Skelton, at least the quarterback drama was outdone by the debut of Eric Studesville. The Broncos' interim coach picked up where Josh McDaniels left off, delivering a 30-point loss on the road.

This should've been a great midseason clash of NFC contenders, right? Instead, the eventual playoff team, which somehow managed to be Seattle, used its formidable homefield advantage to lose 41-7. Meanwhile, the Giants actually decided to protect a big second-half lead, not because they played well, but because the Seahawks were completely clueless on offense. The 12th man was literally neutered by the late second quarter, when New York led 35-0.