America is about shooting for the stars…and there's simply no better example of aspirations achieved than Brady. Sure, he's Hollywood-level handsome, but a sixth-round pick who rarely started in college who winds up winning Super Bowls for a team called 'Patriots', then marrying a supermodel? Congratulations, Tom…you ARE Captain America.

Then again, maybe a slightly built bald man who only gets to start after every other option has been expired is the American dream. He's at least worthy of a spot on our team.

Will he run in 2016 to keep the Bush Presidential Dynasty going? Time will tell. Meantime, Lions fans will settle for him continuing to run like he did in 2013.

What's more American than a frank(further) at a summer barbecue? (That was a rhetorical question. The answer is 'nothing'…as long as you don't overdo it like those competitive gluttons on Coney Island.)

If sharing the surname of the author of the Great American novel isn't reason enough, it just makes good football sense to have that pair of hands on the team.

Befitting of the American melting pot, a French-named Floridian who went to college in Vermont and Ohio and now plays in our nation's capital belongs on this team.

Not 100% positive if 'DC' stands for 'District of Columbia'…but I think it's safe to assume it does.

Francis Scott Key gives him the ultimate name drop at the end of his patriotic diddy. The least we can do is put him on our team.

First name: cigarette brand; surname: the American legal system (theoretically).

Might need some work to get back in game shape, but two presidential names is good enough for me.

He was a president who played football. Enough said.

His surname is one letter away from matching Christopher Columbus'. (Alright, fine, it's a reach…But so was hanging a "Mission accomplished" sign.)

Star Lotulelei – Now if we can just find 49 more, the blue square on our flag will be all set.

A home with a white picket fence is the American ideal. Pickett's as wide as a fence in front of a ½ acre house, and when fits the rest of the equation when the Packers are in their road jerseys.

The body double of our plus-sized 27th President William Howard Taft is a must for this team.

Don't know what a Jeff Coat is, but it's gotta be better than a red coat.

Our linebacking corps features an all-presidential trio, plus a OLB in our 3-4 named Michael 'Uncle' Sam.

Like the same-named Union general who burned through the south, football's Sherman has torched wide receivers with both his play and words over the last few seasons.

Americans love fast cars. Brandon is a fast Carr.

The actual name of our second president, just jazzed up with a 'Y' at the end to make it less wooden than the teeth of colonial contemporaries.

Instead of giving into the temptation to work blue, I'll merely point out the Alabama product shares a name with our Arkansas-born 42nd president.

I know, I know, he's Australian. But unless you know an American kicker named Wing, this is it.

His white-powdered hairdo serves as an ongoing figurative tip of his three-pointed hat to our founding fathers.