What we are talking about:
Philip Rivers
Fear the bolo. Fear it!
Drew Brees
Not as automatic as you think
Life hacks
Navigate your world
Just for poops and giggles, I went back to look at one of my old championship teams from my "League of Record" from a few years ago. It was the 2005 season to be exact and my team was named the LA Xtreme Lives. What a squad that was. Larry Johnson. Tiki Barber's best season. Larry Fitzgerald in his prime. Ricky Williams in my flex spot. Peyton Manning was my quarterback.
Looking back on that team now gives me the same fit of nostalgia as I get when I see an old cast photo of "Freaks and Geeks" from years ago. This show was probably ahead of its time for most of you, but it had an amazing cast with Seth Rogen, James Franco and Jason Segel among others. You kids should go look it up, it was an amazing show that you would love.
When I looked back on my roster, it did give me a chance to get really contemplative about which one of my players would be the Busy Philipps of the group. Although the real question would be if Rogen or Franco would be the Williams of my team. Hit me up on Twitter about this, so I can know who reads this intro and who just jumps ahead to skim through the names.
But this has been one of the most challenging fantasy seasons in recent memory. Help, however, is on the way. We have some guys getting healthy and some potential breakout stars on the rise. The New England Patriots have even committed to giving a running back 23 touches a game! Hahaha. Just kidding. Could you imagine if the Patriots were like that?
I would like to give you advice on the Patriots running back situation but there are two things. First, the game is on Thursday night. You might just be reading this column over the weekend. And I'm not one of those guys who likes to go back and erase all of the stuff he wrote in anticipation of Thursday's game and pretend it never happened. And second, no matter what we do with the Patriots running backs there is a 100 percent chance we will get it wrong because Bill Belichick is a Sith Lord of fantasy football.
Let's proceed in what our homepage editor Patrick Crawley called the best use of a soap box in world history. And he's got a point.
A big hand to stats mavens Careen Falcone and Bill "Sudsy" Sudell for dropping the knowledge.
And without further ado ...
A lot of you probably want to pull the ripcord on Russell Wilson already. Which is understandable. But we've almost come to the point where you bench your stars against the Cowboys. I know it kind of scares me, too.
But I'm going with Wilson this week against St. Louis. It's not as simple as looking at Colin Kaepernick and saying, see, Wilson will do that. However, did you see what Colin did? Plus, the Seahawks and Wilson will rebound in a big way this week. I'd start Wilson over Drew Brees.
But none of you have that dilemma because I'm sure if you drafted Wilson and Brees, you've surely traded one of them by now.
I would stick with Brees, though. Again, I don't know what your alternative is. Do you want to really trust your team with a waiver-wire pickup? I'm very stubborn about this, as you see.
Circling back to Kaepernick, too. Amazing performance at St. Louis. I liked his pocket presence and his ability to improvise on the touchdown strike to Anquan Boldin. The Broncos have given up a lot of points to quarterbacks this year.
Jay Cutler was as poised and accurate as I've seen him last week against the Falcons. Great presence. He didn't rush throws and threw to his open receiver constantly. I wish we could see more of this Jay both in fantasy and reality. This team would be tough to beat, in that case.
Cam Newton looked like he is able to run the ball again. Which is huge. But I'm just a huge fan of his passing. He really picked apart the lauded Bengals defense.
My top plug-and-play quarterback this week would be Joe Flacco. He's got a pretty good matchup against the Falcons at home. So I'd slide him in there if you're quarterback is off.
Philip Rivers has gone this long without a nickname, and it's kind of a travesty. But as my man Salinas Jay points out Rivers has a bolo tie, much in the same vein as Vincent Vega in "Pulp Fiction". So are we cool with calling Rivers Vinny Vega?
ImageCan you believe it's been 20 years since "Pulp Fiction" was released? I remember being so impressionable when it was released, and to this day I still quote it. (Expletive) my call to arms on my Twitter chat on Sunday morning begins with me quoting The Wolf from the movie.
ImageI took to Twitter to talk about my four most-quotable movies of all-time. I came up with "Anchorman", "Caddyshack", "Office Space" and "Pulp Fiction". Our homepage editor Patrick Crawley said "Shawshank Redemption" rounds out the top five. I'm good with that.
ImageI'm sorry that got out of hand on Twitter, too. My typical barrage of fantasy questions was replaced by awesome movies. For the record, the one I really debated was "Superbad". Great movie, totally quotable. "Star Wars" was offered up, but George Lucas' dialogue has always been wooden. The rest of you need to update your Netflix queue.
About the only thing people care about more passionately than fantasy running backs, I guess. And my favorite running back right now is Fred Jackson. Anybody who is hurting at running back knows how much this guy has meant to us this season. He's been amazing.
Justin Forsett also belongs in this category, too. He doesn't get a ton of touches, but he makes great use of them when he does. Forsett has a great matchup this week against the Falcons who have allowed the most points to fantasy running backs this season.
Branden Oliver certainly is the real deal, and if it's all cool with you all, I'm going to go ahead and pencil his name in for the fantasy waiver-wire pickup of the year.
I was ready to give up on Arian Foster, but he looked great on Thursday night. He looked so sharp; you have to start him each and every week. I'd also be open to trading him, too because his value is so high, and his injury history makes me scared about holding onto him for the ROS.
Ronnie Hillman is a solid flex play this week. St. Louis had some chances against the 49ers on the ground, and seriously, it's Peyton Manning's running back, so we're cool.
Jeremy Hill is another interesting flex this week. He was in just 27 plays, but he always seems to be good for a touchdown each week. And it's a good matchup against the Colts.
Alfred Morris has been kind of a mild disappointment this year, but I'm going to roll with him this week, too. I even feel a touchdown coming on for him.
Ahmad Bradshaw had another solid performance this week against the Texans. I keep looking for reasons to not like this guy, and it's been virtually impossible. So I go with him.
Lamar Miller really seemed to respond to the challenge posed form Knowshon Moreno. I hope he keeps up the intensity this week now that my guy is gone for the year.
I'm down with Reggie Bush and Joique Bell this week if both are playing. Playmakers have to step up when other playmakers are out. And they're both playmakers.
Tre Mason is the one running back you're going to want from the St. Louis FC. Something something, pass protection. But the dude is the best runner on this team. And Jeff Fisher is going to need to do something if he wants to accompany this team to L.A.
ImageSeeing those Los Angeles Rams uniforms on Monday night was special. I hope a Los Angeles version would keep those unis, even with a close consideration being given to the Deacon Jones-era blue-and-white uniforms. What a great look.
ImageBut how rad would it be to have those blue-and-gold beauties a part of the NFL rotation with the blue-and-white being the true throwback, instead of the gold Elroy Hirsch deals they formerly wore?
Malcom Floyd seems like the Chargers WR to have these days. He's been the most consistent guy in the group of talented pass catchers at Vinny Vega's disposal.
Odell Beckham Jr. is the guy I would want from the Giants. If this doesn't work out, I will blame the NFL Network series, "Finding Giants". This is what happens with reality TV shows.
ImageMy life is so much better without the drain of reality TV right now. "Star Wars Rebels" has been absolutely fantastic. I'm trying to get my nephew to dress as Ezra for Halloween. I, of course, will be going as The Inquisitor. Because I always have to be the bad guy.
Speaking of drains, Percy Harvin has harangued a lot of you. Don't worry. He's going to have a pretty good game against St. Louis. He's due. #Analysis
Julio Jones is a must-start. I'm going to just come out and say that. But if there was a chance to move him for another top-notch receiver, I sure would have to consider it. That Falcons o-line is bad, um kay?
Mohamed Sanu should have another big game against the Colts. The Colts are tough against receivers, but they will have to really focus to stop the Bengals' ground game.
I should know better about T.Y. Hilton because he doesn't score a lot of touchdowns. But I'm going to give him a go this week.
Michael Floyd is the guy I really like for the Birds this week. I mean, the trend says the Raiders can't guard dudes named Floyd. I'm serious; guys with the name M. Floyd have averaged 16.3 fantasy points against the Raiders this year. #Analysis.
The 49ers have been somewhat tough on receivers. But the tougher the matchup, the more I like Emmanuel Sanders because Peyton uses everybody to his advantage.
Sammy Watkins was locked down by Darrelle Revis last week, and that's nothing to be ashamed of. So he will rebound with a better effort this week against the Vikings.
Mike Wallace has been fun this year. He's started to develop some real chemistry with RT17. And I know it sometimes feels weird to have him in your lineup. But get him in your lineup, people. Myself included.
DeSean Jackson is still the Washington receiver I want to go with until further notice.
You all know me by now. I mean, if you read down this far it's because you enjoy the ravings of a fantasy loon. So here's a play for you. I like Brandin Cooks. The Saints need to go after their playmakers this week.
ImageOutside of Cooks, the rest of the Saints receivers should wear luchador masks and be known as El Genericos; although that would be a ripoff of Sami Zayn's previous gimmick. But all of that pales in comparison to the fact Brad Maddox is back. Part of me is torn about this because with Maddox gone, I currently hold the title for tightest fitting dress shirts. I like Maddox, don't get me wrong. But the hoodie and stuff makes it feel too much like the Dean Ambrose angle currently working on WWE TV.
ImageThe Randy Orton RKO "out of nowhere" videos this week were epic. We might be missing out on our next Kevin Smith or Judd Apatow if he or she is cutting together videos for YouTube instead of making actual movies. How amazing, though. The WWE will find a way to make Orton's video celebrity a thing, in about eight months when people have forgotten about it.
ImageSpeaking of movies (I'm so sorry) holy (expletive) in a true "STOP THE PRESSES" moment, DC Comics announced 10 movies it has coming out through 2020. Amazing titles you can check out right here. I really like that Cyborg is getting his own movie. Ray Fisher will play him. That was good. I was kind of hoping it would be Arian Foster, seeing as Victor Stone is a football player in the New 52. I'm super excited for a new version of the Green Lantern.
Storm Johnson, of course, just sounds like he should be a superhero, right? He needs to get into the mix somehow.
Delanie Walker just became available in our NFL Fantasy LIVE league. Hahaha. That's amazing. It's like finding a $20 in your wallet that you forgot was in there.
Everybody, it seems has forgotten about Travis Kelce after the bye week. Take a look for him on the wire if you are without the services of Jimmy Graham for the next few weeks.
ImageSpeaking of Kansas City, congratulations to the Royals who swept their way to the World Series. Literally. The Royals haven't lost in the postseason and while I still have bitterness about them beating the Angels, I can feel good they made the most of the opportunity. The layoff will be interesting for them. Because we saw the Rockies smoke through the NLCS in 2007, and get hampered by a long layoff.
The Royals made their mark via defense, and your best defensive plays this week include the Buffalo Bills, Dallas Cowboys (for real) and maybe the Vikings. Take a look to see if somebody dropped the Eagles this week as a stash, too.
ImageLIFE HACK: If you're at a buffet (like the Paradise Buffet), line your bowl with bacon before pouring in the soft-serve ice cream.
Sorry I'm going to wedge Kelvin Benjamin here at the bottom. He's going through the concussion protocol. If he's available to play for the Panthers, I would start him this week. I learned my lesson after benching him against the Bengals. I know, I'm closing with some actual fantasy news. Crazy.
We have almost come to the point where you sit your stars against the Dallas Cowboys defense. This also pertains to Eli Manning, too. Manning can be a great matchup starter for you. All right, a good one. But certainly not this week.
Remember when everybody clamored to put Jake Locker in their lineup against the Cowboys in Week 2? And by everybody, I mean me. That seems like such a long time ago. And probably why we shouldn't make any sweeping generalizations about players and stuff in Week 2.
I don't know what seems longer ago, remembering the Cowboys D was considered bad or when Locker was an actual fantasy thing.
Kirk Cousins has a great matchup, but he had a huge regression against Arizona. This would be a time when you would clearly be ahead of your skis if you went with him this week.
Matthew Stafford is a tough one for me, but I've received the most questions about him. His matchup is good, but he's clearly not the same quarterback without Megatron out there. The question really is, who are you going to replace him with? Brian Hoyer? Derek Carr?
If you're playing in a league which allows four points for touchdown passes (lame), to be honest, does the quarterback even matter? To me, it makes it easier to take a riskier shot. If you're in a league that awards six points for TD passes, I'd stick with the perceived stud.
BTW, the Tennessee Titans have the best matchup this week against Washington, who has allowed the most fantasy points to QBs this season. Anybody taking a run at that?
I won't use this space to take any cheap shots at Tony Romo. I know, upset of the year. But the running back has been so good, it really hurts his production. Like another Dallas QB in the 90s. But don't worry, I'm not comparing them. Not by a long shot. But the reasons for the lack of production are similar.
Alex Smith is interesting to me. We kind of forget about him. But he threw for 294 and three TDs in his one start against San Diego last year. And Andy Reid is a genius out of the bye. But there is something about Brandon Flowers which scares me just a little bit this week in a revenge game.
Carson Palmer is an interesting play this week. He was fine against Washington, but they allow a ton of points to fantasy QBs. Oakland is interesting. Was it a miracle punch from Tony Sparno's crew, or back to the same old, same old?
ImageI know a lot of you offered great suggestions about the movie quotes. "Swingers" doesn't do it for me. And I love the Fremont and hang out at the Paradise Buffet in the offseason. You should come join me this summer.
C.J. Spiller has been the exact opposite of Jackson. Thankfully, he opened the season on my "no draft" list and I've never looked back. Him and Darren McFadden can both man the same soup station at the fantasy soup kitchen for the rest of their playing days.
Mike Zimmer has already displayed a veteran's touch with his ability to tweak fantasy enthusiasts when he said he wants to give the ball to Matt Asiata some more. My translation is he hates fantasy football and winning. Because it's hard to find the rationale here.
The Vikings are severely limited at playmakers. And one of the playmakers he has (Cordarrelle Patterson) hasn't done much this season. I wish they'd just go all-in on Jerick McKinnon.
I'd avoid the Saints running backs this week against the Lions, who have been very tough. This is going to be a mess going forward because Khiry has looked great in the last couple of weeks. All the great work from Mark Ingram early could very well be negated going forward. Which sucks.
I don't know what C.J. Anderson did to offend everybody in Denver, but he was given absolutely zero chances. I had added him as a possible filler-play, but it's just not happening.
Trent Richardson is headed in the right direction. Not enough for him to make it off my bench. There is still some hope for him, I guess. Actually no, there isn't.
Bishop Sankey, what was that? Is Ken Whisenhunt just trying to ruin us? So much for opportunity, he played in just 29 snaps last week.
Eddie Lacy and James Starks split the snap-count right down the middle. There is cause for great concern with Lacy. I'm telling you, there is something about these Alabama running backs.
I'm super bummed about what happened to Moreno. I always fondly recall those guys who helped me win a fantasy title. You will be missed from my team, Knowshon. #27Forever
ImageAnd for the dude who tweeted me the photo of Knowshon crying during the national anthem, I have to say too soon. Way, way too soon. (But I did kind of respect you, as a comedian.)
Mason did almost get Austin Davis destroyed on Monday night. It's a big concern. But there are other running backs in the league who do well as two-down backs. Make sure you realize it's not 1998 anymore and two-down running backs are the rule, not the exception.
ImageIf the current team in St. Louis relocates to Los Angeles, as speculated, the Super Bowl trophy and banner they had on Monday night should remain in St. Louis. Why not hand it over to the St. Louis Blues so they can pretend like they have won something in their life?
ImageThat game on Monday night brought me back to a time when young, pre-teen Adam watched Joe Montana torch the Rams for two 90-yard bombs to John Taylor on Monday night to ruin my birthday.
I'm not going to write-off Keenan Allen just yet, but he's really not somebody you can trust on your roster this week. I wouldn't consider dropping him until after all the byes are gone.
Rueben Randle has done well in his understudy role opposite of Victor Cruz. But now as the main focus of defensive coordinators, I'm going to shy away from him for ODB.
My life would be so much better without Cordarrelle Patterson. Although I would say, if I found him on the waiver wire right now, I would add him because he would come to you without any risk. He's an easy stash from that standpoint. I'd hang on to him until after the bye weeks.
Brian Quick was a huge disappointment as expected on Monday night. I don't like him this week, either. Which is going to be great when he's on the waiver wire next week.
Roddy White had one of his worst games of the season against the Bears. Not that you can blame him because it's the mighty Bears! But he's nothing more than a WR3 at this point. Just barely.
Larry Fitzgerald was back. At least for a week. I hate to see you all feel like Larry is back completely and then be epically burned. Look at what the Raiders did to KA last week. Oh man, Larry Fitzgerald Sr. is going to be super pissed.
I'm not ready to be all about Andre Holmes just yet. He has the most targets, which is great. But if he draws Patrick Peterson this week, this could be an opening for different Raiders WR. And good luck figuring out whom.
Michael Crabtree broke free for a touchdown against St. Louis. But he was really just effective on one play. Stevie Johnson has out-played him this season.
Robert Woods was great as one of our Danger Zone picks last week. I'm going to take a pass because this feels like a bigger Sammy game. Another solid week will make us take notice.
You know how I feel about Blake Bortles. My problem has been trying to figure out the guy who will be the receiver to pick up. Cecil Shorts wants to be but hasn't for my guys down in Duval.
ImageSpeaking of Duval, one of my coworkers tried to convince me Robert Duvall was in "Armageddon". Some of you might think I don't know (expletive) about fantasy (probably right), but I know my 90s disasters movies that I grew up on.
Congratulations to Andre Johnson on finally getting into the end zone. What a rare sight! All kidding aside (like that would ever happen), but this would be a great time to try to move him. He's just coming off a great game everybody saw on Thursday Night Football. He still has the name recognition and Madden rating. So you might not get a ton from him in a straight-up deal for a running back. But adding his name to a package gives it a little pizazz to push it over the top. Consider this your fantasy life hack of the day.
Wes Welker had one target last week. He's had one receiving touchdown in his last eight games. He's had fewer than 100 receiving yards in 20 consecutive games. Please drop him.
ImageJohn Cena has resorted to rap once again. Could this be a return to Thuganomics and a heel run? Probably not. We'll probably get this as a storyline for "Total Divas" with Cameron being all bummed out she's not getting a push in the music business and then opting to drop down to freestyle developmental territory in an effort to get better. Oh (expletive), I guess I'm not fully free of reality TV. Though in fairness to me, it's only on in the background while the wife, Rosie McGee, watches it and I answer mean tweets.
I know there are going to be games where Vernon Davis scores like four TDs. But he's way too up and way too down for my liking. I mean, that's the trouble with a lot of TEs, but come on.
Can somebody offer up a reasonable explanation as to why Flacco threw like 26 touchdowns in the first half of last week's game and Owen Daniels ended up with three fantasy points? Should be careful, though. The overcorrection could come this week, even with a bad matchup.
ImageAgain, there are just two teams off. In Week 7. As opposed to the 13 teams that had a bye in like Week 2. I swear, the easiest job in the world should be NFL schedule maker. Most of it is already done. I feel like the person who does it makes it all screwed up just to justify his job. I mean, it's probably a cherry gig, so who am I trying to shoot holes in this guy's sweet job.
ImageMy short version to fix the NFL schedule: No 1. No divisional games until Week 4's "Rivalry Week" to help with sagging interest in that part of the season. No 2. Three weeks of divisional games 4-6. And finish with divisional games in Week 15-17. 3. Bye weeks in Week 9-12. The rest is just filler. That took me about 37 seconds to figure out.
ImageCongratulations to Daniel Tosh for his takedown of Lane Kiffin and Alabama football. Tosh is from Florida, so I can kind of understand where the vitriol is coming from.
ImageBTW, what is wrong with Vontaze Burfict? Dude, that stuff you see in the WWE is scripted and part of the action. WWE performers actually try to take care of each other. What you're trying to do is wrong on so many levels. And parents in Corona, Calif., this is why your kids should go to Corona High and not Centennial.
Be good this weekend. And if you celebrate like Madison Bumgarner, please designate a driver.
For the record, you can submit your fantasy questions to NFL Fantasy Live, Michael Fabiano or me on Twitter. But realize, NFL Fantasy Live has 270K followers, and Fabiano has 165K. Me? Just four. See, the odds are better I will answer your question, so hit me up both via Twitter or via Facebook. And if you follow him on Sundays, he'll quote "The Wolf" from "Pulp Fiction" and then it's game on! Although, it's tough to catch me on Facebook. Twitter is your go-to." Plus seriously people, I'm not taking your tweets after Midnight. I'm into the #HashtagWars via @Midnight.
