What we are talking about:
Aaron Rodgers
Don't worry, he's fine
Fred Jackson
Why did I wait until now?
Bruce Arians
Best. Coach. Ever. EVER!
Well this is going to be a fun week. Six teams on a bye. SIX. TEAMS. In Week 4.
This is something that has bothered me for the longest time. I'd put it up there with how Darth Vader can sense his son is within 100 parsecs of him, but damn his daughter is nose-to-mask with him in the opening minutes of Episode IV and nothing? Why does Indiana Jones have to dig up the arc if the Nazis are digging in the wrong place anyway? He's basically handing it over to them. And why was Penny) ever into Leonard on the "The Big Bang Theory?" He's kind of a (expletive) to her. Always making cracks about her intelligence when it was clear all along he's way too insecure.
Similarly, having a bye week after THREE GAMES of an NFL season seems ridiculous. And this goes well beyond the fantasy ramifications. Old man Peyton Manning will not get a break from football until January or February if his team makes the playoffs. Manning could earn a bye week in the playoffs, but that might not be so automatic when you consider how well the Chargers have played this season. A Week 4 bye is utterly ridiculous. And if Adam Carolla can get the goal posts extended, I would like to be the one who gets the bye weeks sorted.
Thankfully, the solution is rather simple. So simple, I'm surprised nobody has ever thought of it. Here's what you do. Move the bye weeks to Weeks 9-12. That ensures that every team will play at least eight games before a break. (Something the Giants would know about since they seemingly get a bye Week 8 or later every year. Don't bother looking, their bye is Week 8 this year.) This is the only fair way to go.
Then, starting in Week 9, you have two divisions take it off. The AFC/NFC West could have Week 9, AFC/NFC East Week 10, etc. and then you have the divisions rotate each season so to push one team back accordingly.
This is so mind-numbingly simple.
Like this column. Boom, stole your joke!
Seriously, I thought I would have to take thousands of words to explain this, but nope, just a few paragraphs. That's how easy this all is.
There might be a few problems, however. I mean, you think your fantasy team is wrecked this week with six teams, eight could be a problem. But again, it's later in the year so you will have a chance to prepare.
The bye weeks are used to help the International Series. That could be easily rectified by, you know, scrapping the International Series. I love our fans in the UK, but we could limit this series to one game in Week 8, or move all of them to the bye weeks.
There would be no downside for any of this and it would just make logistical sense. Plus, it would erase the advantage that teams get for taking a later break. So what do you say league office? Is there a chance we can make this happen next year?
Let's proceed in what our homepage editor Patrick Crawley called the best use of a soap box in world history. Or something like that. And for the record, I could spend hours on all of the plot holes of "Star Wars" even though I love it.
A big hand to stats mavens Bill "Sudsy" Sudell and Careen Falcone for dropping the knowledge.
And without further ado ...
Kirk Cousins was amazing. I know; he's going to end up having a terrible game soon (maybe even against the Giants), but I don't care. I'm all about this guy. Great fit.
Wait a minute; Jay Gruden said that he might stick with Cousins when RG3 returns? Is this a (expletive) joke? Washington has waited for years to have a QB of the future and it might stick with him? That's nuts.
Jay Cutler might not put up the points he did over the past couple of weeks because the Packers have struggled against the run, but I'm going to stick with him. Bear down.
Matthew Stafford has 1,956 yards and 14 touchdowns in his last six games against the AFC.
If I've told you once, I've told you a million times last week but I'm never benching Philip Rivers again. Not even if he went to Seattle. And bolo tie > capri pants FTW.
Andrew Luck is the top quarterback in fantasy football. Nobody could have seen that coming. He said facetiously. Andy Luck is my jam.
Trend alert! Nick Foles has thrown for more than 300 yards in each game this season.
Aaron Rodgers told everybody to "Relax" this week. So he quoted Frankie Goes to Hollywood? Eh. Still not as dated as his Hans-and-Franz commercials. Or the music Packers fans listen to. Or the clothes they wear.
One thing you have to say about Brady is that he's winning the internet. Or at least he's winning Facebook with a bunch of his posts. If he's not posting about the Tuck Rule (which was amazing), his photo giving a little love to the high-five-starved Bob Kraft was the thing of genius. I really want to give the credit to Gisele for this great work.
Ben Roethlisberger has 2,516 passing yards with 19 touchdowns and six interceptions in his last nine against the NFC. Great matchup against the Buccaneers this week.
Ryan Tannehill could be a Danger Zone deep sleeper. I like the mind games the coaches are playing with him Miami. His life has been a little too comfortable. Plus Raiders.
If I had to spot-start a rookie quarterback, my choice would be Blake Bortles based on the matchup.
Who thought Jamaal Charles would cause such a headache for fantasy enthusiasts this season? Well, other than me. And now this week, he might play on Monday night. I don't envy you.
I'll take Alfred Morris as the home-team running back on Thursday night.
LeSean McCoy was smothered by D.C.'s defense. I'm not worried about him going forward. He has just one total touchdown and fewer than 80 rushing yards in each game this season. So you're saying that he's due!
Matt Forte hasn't been great for you. I know, we'd love for him to be consistently in the high teens when it comes to point production. But he hasn't been that miserable. So look for a bounce-back against the Packers.
Donald Brown is going to get his opportunities. He ran the ball 31 times at Buffalo, and the team lost my man Marion Grice of ASU off the practice squad. Brown is a must-start.
Lorenzo Taliaferro is the Ravens running back we've asked for this year! He was dominant against the Browns and he will be the starter at some point this season. John Harbaugh needs to start him.
Chris Ivory is the best back for the Jets right now. The sooner the coaches figure that out, the better. Which probably means that never happens. I mean, even I see this.
Fred Jackson is the truth and he needs to be started until he is carried off the field. Which might never happen. He just has great heart. Great matchup against Houston, too.
I'd go with Pierre Thomas and Khiry Robinson this week. Both of those guys are fun. Reminds me of the idyllic times when the Lions had two running backs you could trust. Those were the days.
ImageSpeaking of tag-teams, congratulations to the Dust Brothers who won the WWE titles at Night of Champions. I'm really a fan of Goldust and Stardust. So it will be nice to see them with the titles. Except they will lose every non-title match from here until the Royal Rumble. Cesaro was once again amazing against Sheamus, who seems to be way too high on the card. Loved everything about the championship match until the end. Dean Ambrose continues to set the world on fire, too. I still would have much rather seen him trade blows with John Cena on RAW, however. But what can you do?
I really like Kelvin Benjamin; but can you imagine how much better he would be if Steve Smith Sr. was on the other side?
Triple S has become one of my favorite jams this year. He was brought in to be that steadying influence opposite of the other Smith. But JF was like, nope, I'm throwing it to the guy who can run everything on the route tree. Watch his TDs increase with Dennis Pitta's absence.
I've decided to ride-or-die with Cordarrelle Patterson this year. I've heard some rumblings around this building that he's having trouble learning his routes. But I'm going to give him another go with Teddy B under center now.
I hate to look at the Bucs' horrible performance against the Falcons a week ago, and be all; I have to start Markus Wheaton this week. And yet, here I am. Starting Wheaton.
How great is Jeremy Maclin? I saw him get injured during the preseason and went, uh oh. But the dude has been the truth in Philadelphia.
I like the long-term value of John Brown in Arizona. Our own Matt "Money" Smith called that game in Arizona and said Drew Stanton missed him a few times. This isn't a fluke, Brown was lauded during the preseason.
Bruce Arians forever, please. He's just the best. Arians said he wanted to keep his team humble during the bye week because it's a short elevator ride to the (expletive) house. I want to rock a newsboy hat now.
Keenan Allen started slowly for the Chargers last year, too. He's going to shake out of it this week.
Antonio Brown tied an NFL record with his 19th-consecutive game with at least five receptions.
Wait, is it Julio Jones is good at home, and Roddy White on the road or vice-versa? Or is it, I don't give a (expletive) because I'm staring both regardless?
Steve Johnson doesn't jump to mind when you think of a must-start, but his targets have increased each game this season, and he had nine receptions for 103 yards last week.
Allen Hurns is back. I like him long-term. But Allen Robinson is the guy to go with here. But you know that from reading Rank's 11. (Or you'd better!)
Reggie Wayne has two TDs in his last three games against the Titans.
If you watched any part of the Bears' DOMINATING victory over the NYJ on Monday night, you will have no hesitation to add Golden Tate to your starting lineup.
Make sure Mike Wallace is in your starting lineup. Wallace has a touchdown reception in three of his last four games. He's going to be fine. Don't worry about the QB.
Vincent Jackson is a good pick as long as it's Glennon throwing him the ball and not McCown.
ImageVictoria really won me over on "Big Brother" because I can only imagine the anxiety of being put on the block every week. So it's kind of a shame she didn't win it all. Derrick was the right choice, but I'm kind of torn. It almost seems unfair to have an undercover cop on the show, because he's a professional when it comes to deception and blending in. So I do want to take a little something away Derrick for the win. It would be like if they had a driving reality TV show, and Jeff Gordon showed up. That keeps me from saying Derrick is the best ever.
Shoot, you guys need tight ends. Here's the deal, I like Niles Paul and Dwayne Allen a ton. Travis Kelce would be my next guy, because he's become a huge part of the offense, too. He's getting more snaps each week, and he's easily the most-dynamic receiver.
Did you see Kelce try to hurdle that dude? It was like CM Punk going for the high knee. I miss CM Punk.
A few closing notes. Isaiah Crowell looks like the guy who will end up as the eventual No. 1 in Cleveland. I've had love for Terrance West, but the facts say Crowell right now.
My That Helps No One prediction team: Geno Smith, Justin Forsett, Shaun Draughn, Andre Holmes, David Nelson and Austin Seferian-Jenkins.
Comedy Central needs to follow the lead of FXX and do a marathon of every "South Park" ever. Now that would be amazing. The show has been on for 18 years, and really, there has been no dip in quality, like ever. Amazing.
Eli Manning has struggled mightily in his career against Washington. Plus visiting teams on Thursday Night Football have become my new poison for my fantasy teams.
How is it possible Cutler can play an entire game and not sweat at all? I'm not kidding. Look at Cutler after a game and he's got his quaff perfect like he's doing a shampoo commercial.
Geno Smith wasn't as bad as everybody said he was. Dang, give the dude a little room.
It's also worth noting the Vikings play outside at the University of Minnesota. By the time I get used to that, Minnesota will have its new stadium.
Cam Newton has really started to give me pause. He's just outside of the QB1 conversation in a 10-team league. For sure in a 12-teamer. But what was up with those capri pants?
There is no doubt you play Luck each week. But he's due for one of those games where they win big and he doesn't put up fantasy points.
Nice of Michigan State to still consider Foles a Spartan. Just as Anakin will always be a Jedi to me.
Tom Brady has fewer than 13 fantasy points in each of his last five games. He's had at least three TD pass in a game twice in his last 22. But breaking up is just so dang hard, especially with all the good times Brady has provided.
At some point you have to wonder if Rodgers and coach Mike McCarthy are on the same page. The play calling has looked pretty bad for the Packers. Maybe worse than Lacy has looked at times, and might be the root problem. I wonder if this could be the last year for McCarthy if the Packers fail to make the playoffs. Which is mere conjecture from me.
I need a favor from you guy and gals. If I ever start to advocate Mike Glennon this year as a possible starter, please stop me. PLEASE. I beseech you from the bottom of my heart.
I have a feeling there will be a week when Derek Carr is my starting QB because he's looking better. But I'm not going to do it when he's out there in London.
Teddy Bridgewater was viewed as the most NFL-ready of all the QBs headed into the draft. But I'm still just watching.
The best news you could get if you're a Knile Davis holder is to have Charles announce he's not able to go as early as Saturday so you can make a decision.
I miss the Freddy Morris as a goal-line back era in Washington. All one freaking game of it.
Rashad Jennings has been fantastic this year, as he's gone over 95 scrimmage yards in all three games. TREND! But Washington has given up the fewest yards to RBs this year and I don't care for road teams on Thursday night.
How has nobody made the Eddie Lacy to Trent Richardson comparisons yet? Former Alabama running back who had a fantastic rookie season. First-round fantasy pick. And everybody continues to make excuses for him?
I'd still like to know how the Chargers lost Marion Grice off the practice squad. I was so excited he went to the Chargers, but going to the Birds could be a pretty nice stash later on this year.
Toby Gerhart gets the pine from me for the second consecutive week, but I would like to hang on to him for a little bit to see what he can do with Bortles under center.
I was big on Chris Johnson this year, but he's let us down. The coaching staff has given him his chances but both the Jets and fantasy holders need to pull the plug.
If Arian Foster just wants to mess around and make movies, why go through the motions of trying to play football? He doesn't act like his heart is in it.
We need to have a heart-to-heart with Joique Bell. What seems to be the problem, dude? I'm not going to drop him, because that would be silly. But I'm not starting the guy against the tough Jets.
ImageBelated congratulations to Bill Gramatica, for he no longer owns the greatest celebration fail of all-time. That goes to Stephen Tulloch who tried to do a variation of the discount double-check. (Maybe the Usos make it look too easy.) However, I really am disappointed in the internet community because we haven't seen one Gramatica/Tulloch mash-up, which the world is clamoring for. If only there was some enterprising organization out there with access to archive NFL footage that could go down to its vast library and put together a compilation of celebration fails. I'm afraid that technology is years off, though.
ImageThis has to mean Tulloch gets his own State Farm commercial now, right? That would only seem like the fair thing to do for him. Ooh! Ooh! And should his new nickname be Stephen (wait for it) TullOUCH? Amirite (sic)? No? All right, I'll show myself the door.
I like Kelvin Benjamin a bunch. But I really fear the Ravens defense is going to be all, we're not going to let this kid ball out in front of Senior Smith.
And thank you, folks. That might have been the dumbest rationale I've ever come up with to bench a player, but that's going to be my final answer. I'm going to roll with CP in that flex spot where Benjamin would otherwise start. It's just what I do. And when I'm 2-2 and complaining about my roster in my League of Record, please point out this passage to me.
Now that Victor Cruz has joined the rest of the touchdown-scoring world, is anybody else going to mention the fact T.Y. Hilton hasn't scored a touchdown in 11 consecutive games?
I always seem to get questions about Hilton every week, and I just don't get it. I believe a ton of you were seduced by a great game against the Seahawks last year.
I hope DeSean Jackson continues to be this angry against the rest of the NFC East. I like him a lot and wouldn't move him just to move him, but he's a sell-high guy for me right now.
I'll eat those words if he can find consistency with Cousins there in D.C.
Jordan Matthews is awesome. I really liked his game against D.C. and he's got a great matchup this week. The one thing that concerns me about rookie receivers is consistency. And realize, McCoy had 20+ touches against Washington. McCoy wasn't able to do anything, which led to more opportunities for Matthews. Those might not be there if McCoy and Sproles are really firing on all cylinders. So Matthews is really fourth in line for touches. Maybe fifth behind the tight ends, too.
That's not to say you don't need Matthews on your roster. I do like him for the long-term. The consistency is what is going to keep him from being a starter right now.
I'm going to need to see some consistency from Eddie Royal before I'm ready to roster him. Royal pulled this stunt last year where he was all good for the first couple of weeks, and then he faded. TREND.
Check this out, Shonn Greene has scored in four consecutive road games. That's a trend, right? Well, you throw that (expletive) out the window when Charlie Whitehurst could be your quarterback.
ImageWait, I just had an idea! There are leagues out there that go with Team QB. Instead of getting just Jake Locker, you get whoever the quarterback for the Titans is. Which is fine, but kind of lame. I mean, if most teams lose their starting QB, their team is done. Well, not you Washington. But most teams. So I don't like it. The only place I would fully endorse such an idea? Carolina Team RB. I mean, you get whatever yards the Panthers RBs rush for. That would be amazing. Wait, maybe we should do that with all positions. And maybe, we could boil it down to one team. Where you only root for one team on Sunday, like the Bears against another team, like the Packers. And then you can have one team represent a whole city! And then ... wait ... that sounds too familiar. Forget I said anything.
I sincerely hope more people rushed out this week and added Matt Moore because there was a chance he was going to be elevated as a starter. Shame that person publicly if you can. The fantasy holder, not Moore. He's cool. Somebody I know won a fantasy league once with Moore. Wish I could remember who it was.
ImageNo spoilers for "Gotham" please. I've still got it sitting on the DVR. But a lot of the reviews I've heard are not positive. Which sucks because "Arrow" is amazing and there are high hopes for "Flash" which comes out in October. Just when you thought DC was turning it around with TV shows, this happens. But maybe I'm worrying about it too much considering I haven't seen it.
Owen Daniels is fine if you're in a really deep league. He has the trust of Gary Kubiak, but I truly believe the goal-line target will be Triple S. He's the guy they have been looking for since Anquan Boldin left.
ImageAm I a bad person if I don't give a flying (expletive) about Derek Jeter and his final games? I'm still waiting for the president to make it a national holiday. I will say when you look back at Jeet, Alex Rodriguez and Nomar, the captain was really best of the three. That debate should be put to rest forever.
For the record, you can submit your fantasy questions to NFL Fantasy Live, Michael Fabiano or me on Twitter. But realize, NFL Fantasy Live has 270K followers, and Fabiano has 165K. Me? Just four. See, the odds are better I will answer your question, so hit me up both via Twitter or via Facebook. And if you follow him on Sundays, he'll quote "The Wolf" from "Pulp Fiction" and then it's game on! Although, it's tough to catch me on Facebook. Twitter is your go-to." Plus seriously people, I'm not taking your tweets after Midnight. I'm into the #HashtagWars via @Midnight.
