Mr. President,
You captured the hearts of sports fans everywhere when you said during your presidential campaign that you wanted to institute a college playoff system. (That still needs to happen, by the way. You might even turn Utah into a blue state.)
Football fans respected your partisan rooting for the Steelers in Super Bowl XLIII. Leaders need to take a stand and believe in something -- the country doesn't need a President who sits on the fence and roots for a good game.
Neutral is for Switzerland. This is America.
With that in mind, American sports fans -- fantasy football players, in particular -- need a stimulus package. Hey, if we are stimulating the economy with a bullet train between Blythe and Bakersfield, then extending the stimulus to include fantasy football doesn't seem like too much of a reach.
And you seem to have the kind of pull to get this done, Mr. President.
I can safely speak for fantasy football players by saying that we need -- no, demand -- a constitutional amendment outlawing the running-back-by-committee (RBBC) in the NFL.
There was a time when it was only former Broncos coach Mike Shanahan who ruined fantasy teams by sharing carries. Now, more and more coaches have adopted this fantasy-killing policy. Baltimore's John Harbaugh is the most egregious offender. Harbaugh seemed to put all three of his running backs' names into a hat, pulled one name out about 30 minutes prior to kickoff and ran that back into the ground.
Ray Rice, Willis McGahee and Le'Ron McClain were all useless in most fantasy formats. You couldn't count on anybody. McClain scored 22 fantasy points in Week 3 -- from the waiver wire!
At least Shanahan used to provide an exceptional passing game, even getting some fantasy mileage from Jake Plummer at one point. What did Harbaugh give us? Joe Flacco? Thanks for nothing, John. Hopefully, getting your team to the AFC Championship Game in your first season as coach was worth drawing the wrath of millions of fantasy footballers.
And to quote you, Mr. President, it's going to get a lot worse before it gets better. The San Diego Chargers put the franchise tag on backup running back Darren Sproles, a clear signal that the Chargers could be jumping into RBBC land.
Think of it. LaDainian Tomlinson possibly in a running-back-by-committee. One of the automatic locks in recent fantasy drafts possibly splitting carries with a guy who wouldn't see eye-to-eye with must junior high kids.
This cannot happen.
When fantasy football's greatest running back could be turned into the Tony Mandarich of fantasy drafts, the time for action is now. We ask you, Mr. President, to outlaw the running-back-by-committee.
Oh, and can we deduct the cost of this magazine as a business expense?
Sincerely,
Adam Rank
Fantasy Football Fanatic
