What's more surprising: that Kristen Stewart is the androgynous kid in the movie "Panic Room" or that Eddie Lacy is back as a featured player in the column Panic Room?
Two weeks ago, Lacy's panic level hit it's absolute apex but who will get the full Jodie this week? Calvin Johnson? Cordarrelle Patterson?
Welcome to ... "The Panic Room."
Eddie Lacy
The first four weeks were rough for Green Bay's bruiser, with Lacy averaging about six points per game and a horrendous 3 yards per carry. At that point, I gave him the Full Jodie heading into his Week 5 matchup versus Minnesota.
He promptly went into "Stone Cold Steve Austin" mode, dropping Stunners on Vikingslike they owed him money. I apologize in advance, Robert Blanton.
After Lacy pounded out 132 scrimmage yards and two touchdowns against the powerless Purple, the comments section of my first Panic Room column read like this:
"The Lacy evaluation makes this guy the [expletive] of the year. Fire him."
"Article already fails. Lacy had a monster week ... Lacy had a slow start last year, too. Author is an idiot."
So then you're thinking A) James is an idiot and should be fired and B) Lacy is going to go off on Miami in Week 6.
Yeah ... not so much. On 14 carries Lacy could only manage 40 yards, a terrible 2.9 yard per carry average ... or put another way, exactly what he was averaging before his "breakout" game versus Minnesota.
I went back to the comments section expecting A) apologies or B) kudos! I found neither, just crickets.
Panic Level:Ross finding out Rachel is pregnant.
Shock. Confusion. And yes, panic. But it's all going to work out in the end right? Right??
I've downgraded him (or upgraded?) from a Full Jodie to not a Full Jodie, but I still hold firm to my original assessment that Lacy is done this year as a top-flight fantasy running back.
So the bad news is I don't believe he will yield season-long profits for owners who used a top-eight pick on him, but with Green Bay's schedule coming up, Lacy could very well have a few more Stone-Cold-type games in him.
Next up is Carolina, which has been terrible against the run, followed by the Saints who are the Saints and then Chicago, Philly and (SWEET!) Minnesota is on the docket once again. Those are five consecutive favorable matchups for Lacy and I can see him having good to very good games in about three of them.
My advice: If you have him, hold on to him and see what happens.
If you don't have him, shop around and see if you can get him from a nervous owner on the cheap. Don't be "that guy" that offers Andre Holmes for Lacy straight up, but I think a trade that looks like Pierre Garcon and Trent Richardson is totally respectable. If you can get Lacy for two playable but low-end flexes, you do it.
Calvin Johnson
Megatron is so banged up he looks like he's been on the wrong end of one of those epic scraps with Optimus Prime. Great for nostalgia. Not great for football, both real and fantasy.
In Week 1, Johnson had 28 points versus the Giants and everyone said, "Well it looks like Calvin is in mid-season form!" But that performance was promptly followed by two consecutive eight-point weeks, then injuries contributed to a 1.2-point dud in Week 4 followed by an even worse 0.7-point outing in Week 5 before Megatron finally realized he needed some oil in his creaky ankle.
And forget about this week, head coach Jim Caldwell hinted that Johnson could sit out the Lions' next two games heading into the team's bye, meaning fantasy owners would be without the services of their first-round draft pick for the next THREE weeks.
Keep in mind, Johnson is indeed dealing with a sprain but of the dreaded high-ankle variety. It's an incredibly tricky injury to manage because while we saw Jamaal Charles come back with a vengeance after just a couple weeks off, others have had to deal with similar injuries on and off for an entire season. Where Johnson will fall in that spectrum is anyone's guess.
You're scrambling around, desperately looking for production but left clutching at cobwebs and dirt. All you can do is laugh maniacally.
My advice: For the love of all that is good and holy, DON'T drop him.
As for moving him, he's about as untradeable of an asset as it comes because when healthy, he is one of just a handful of non-quarterbacks that can drop a 30-spot on any given week. What are you going to trade him for? A middling and mediocre running back? Really?
That being said, if you're sitting there at 2-4 and struggling with points, waiting for a potentially healthy Megatron is borderline insane. You need to win and win right now. You can't worry about being made fun of in your chat boards, you got to make moves my man.
Movers and shakers with downtrodden rosters should look to deal Johnson for a young, promising high-upside running back plus a super solid WR/flex play. For example, I wouldn't hate a deal for Branden Oliver and Reggie Wayne. I wouldn't like it either ... but I wouldn't hate it.
Again, don't do it if you can avoid it, but this ain't baseball folks. You don't have 19 months to collect stats for an end-of-the-year roto league championship. You have six or seven weeks before the fantasy playoffs begin to hit and you're either in or you're out.
Cordarrelle Patterson
I wish he would spell his name with more letters. That would be fun. Corrddarrelle Pattersson. Maybe we could start a Change.org petition to make this happen?
Or maybe we could create a Kickstarter to help raise money to hire a lobby group to persuade Norv to #FreeCordarrelle.
Why isn't the dynamic playmaker getting many targets or touches? Well, head coach Mike Zimmer said the answer was "pretty simple."
"He needs to get open," Zimmer told The SiriusXM Blitz.
Um. Ok. I'm no football strategery expert but let's assume coverage, route running and understanding of the playbook were all an issue. It still doesn't explain why Turner wouldn't dial up a few jet sweeps a game for Patterson or ask uber-athletic wideout to run as fast as possible to the end zone and chuck him the ball once a game.
Patterson got three carries in the Vike's season opener which resulted in 102 yards and a touchdown. But despite that success, Patterson has carried the rock two times TOTAL in the team's ensuing five games. It's like an eight-foot tall Wookie wanting to live on Endor with a bunch of 2-foot tall Ewoks. That does not make sense.
Panic Level:The Full Jodie.
It sounds like the coaching staff has lost faith in Patterson and maybe, possibly, perchance he has lost faith in the coaching staff.
The only promising stat line from last week was that Patterson got eight targets. He could only convert two of them, picking up a measly 15 yards receiving.
BUT, given a relatively favorable schedule coming up, IF Patterson continues getting that many looks, he COULD break one into long yardage and POSSIBLY even into touchdowns. Unfortunately, there are a lot of Sir Mix-A-Lot-sized but's in that equation.
I don't see it happening ... Which can only mean one thing: He's going for 17 catches, 368 yards and 8 scores this week versus the Bills.
My Advice: I would normally advocate a trade but Patterson's trade value is almost nil at this point. Hold on to him and hope he can help you maybe, possibly, perchance in the fantasy playoffs.
Panic Alarm Snooze Button:
In Week 3 McCoy could only muster 22 yards on 19 carries, then followed up that stinker with an even worse performance in Week 4 collecting 17 yards total. Much hand-wringing was had even after an 81-yard Week 5 because of a lost fumble in the process.
Then in Week 6 McCoy reminded people why they spent a top-two pick on his services. On just 22 carries Shady went off for 149 yards on the ground and had 154 yards total.
You add in the fact that Darren Sproles will be gone for the next few weeks and we're talking about even more looks around the end zone and in the passing game? Y'all can do whatever you want, but I'm riding the McCadillac till the wheels fall off ... for now ...
He's done!!! Everyone said so!
Oops.
Since his four-point debacle in Week 4, Brady has gone on to post 21 points and 30 points in back-to-back weeks.
He's back!!! Everyone says so! ... For now.
His bromance with Jay Cutler was tested severely in Weeks 3 through 5 as Marshall averaged just 23 yards per game and only four fantasy points per game during that three-week stretch.
Health seemed to return to the well-spoken wideout en route to a 113-yard performance in Week 6 and our faith in his and Cutler's ever-lasting love was restored ... for now ...
Koh's Mailbag:
Having Carson is better than not having Carson when it comes to Fitz. Palmer, when healthy, has a huge arm and even when he's not healthy, has never been afraid to fling it down field or into tight spaces. Not great for real football but pretty darn good for the fake game when it comes to having a wide receiver targeted by Palmer.
I get it, the future HOF'er is past his prime and had four pretty poor games in a row before breaking through with a 98-yard performance and his first score of the season versus Washington.
Will he do that every week? No. But is he worth an add? Absolutely.
Despite complaints from Fitz Sr., the targets are still there. A whopping 10 targets in Week 2 followed by seven, seven and six targets in the following contests. It's not a ton but enough certainly to be effective.
Upcoming games at Oakland then home versus Philly are games where owners should feel comfortable sliding Fitzgerald into their flex.
The Niners are on the road, on a short week and taking on a team that has given up the fourth-fewest fantasy points to wide receivers in the Denver Broncos.
The Giants are facing the surprisingly tough Cowboys who are actually the second-best defense in fantasy versus wide receivers, having allowed only two touchdowns total to wideouts this season. Plus you factor in that the Giants offense just got shut out by a mediocre real-life defense in the Eagles, the N-Y-G offense is not very H-O-T right about now.
So neither Anquan or ODB are great plays, but I would say Boldin is the safer play mostly because he catches a lot of balls. I could easily see him snatching up seven receptions for 70 yards.
My caveat though is that I think Odell Beckham is a verrrrrrry interesting (read: upside) play for New York now that Victor Cruz is sidelined for the season.
I predicted in the preseason that Kelvin Benjamin would have at least a respectable year in large part because he has a quarterback that can absolutely fling it and those 400-plus pass attempts have to go somewhere.
It's a similar prediction and situation for ODB. Eli Manning is a capable quarterback and he's got to throw it someone, right? And who is Beckham fighting for looks? Ruben Randle? At the very least, Beckham will get targets, meaning he will have his fair share of good games. Predicting which ones will be the hard part.
And, no.
How is this becoming a thing?!?!
Who are you panicking on? Follow me on Twitter @JamesDKoh and let me know! And be sure to not read any of this column and write super mean and super inaccurate stuff about my work in the comment section below! Thanks!!!
James Koh is an anchor/reporter for NFL Network and the host of NFL Fantasy LIVE. Follow him on Twitter @JamesDKoh.
